Page 75 of The Devious Husband

The man of her choosing was never me.

It was him.

I lean back in my seat when the meeting concludes, and she rises to her seat, walking up to him. They murmur among themselves, and my heart twists painfully as I listen to them discussing their dinner plans like I’m not even here, like she isn’t still legally my wife.

“Sierra,” I say, my voice soft. “Can I talk to you?”

She looks at me, and it hits me then. We’ve been in a similar situation before, and I’d told her she was crazy if she thought I’d let her flirt with another man right in front of me, before reminding her that she’s mine. Today it isn’t me she’ll kiss. It’s not my fingers that’ll slip between her legs, taunting her for being wet and needy.

She tells him she’ll meet him at the restaurant, and he throws her a sweet smile, their eyes locking for a few moments, like he’s trying to quietly ascertain if she’s okay, the way I used to. Sierra watches him walk away like she can’t bear to see him go, and the pain rapidly becomes unbearable.

“What is it?” she asks, showing me none of the sweetness she just showed him.

I stare at my wife, taking in those beautiful eyes that I’ve always loved, those lips I fantasized about for years, and the way her nose points up just a touch at the end. “Do I even stand a chance?”

She looks away, her eyes dropping to her notebook, where they linger for some time. “Sign the papers,” she says, those gorgeous eyes I’ve always loved entirely devoid of emotion.

Sixty-Seven

Sierra

My heart feels heavy when I get home and find my driveway empty after dinner with Graham, his girlfriend, and a few of their friends. I should be relieved that Xavier isn’t here tonight, yet I can’t help but feel a sense of loss as I get out of my car. I’d wondered how long it’d take for him to stop showing up.

I run a hand through my hair as I walk to my front door, only to pause when I find a black box waiting for me, a gold ribbon on it. My heart begins to ache when I recognize his handwriting, and the way he curls the S in my name.

My hands tremble as I carry it to my living room, my every instinct telling me that the contents will hurt me even more than he already has. I suck in a breath when I pull the ribbon loose and lift the lid, my stomach tightening as I stare at the divorce papers. I’m shaking as I reach for them, my movements slow, reluctant, as I flick through them. He signed them. I didn’t think he ever would.

I trail a finger over his signature, my heart twisting painfully. This is what I thought I wanted, yet it brings me no joy at all, no relief. It doesn’t feel like a clean break, or a fresh start, like I’d hoped it would. It just feels like heartbreak far worse than anything I’ve ever felt before.

I bite down on my lip as I glance back at the box that was far too big for the documents, my brows rising when I realize there’s something else in it. My heart begins to race when I reach for the book in it, a sticky note on the cover.

Read this before you file the papers.

Forever yours,

XK

I pull the note off to take a closer look at the cover, and my eyes widen when I read the title. The Story of Us. It looks hand bound, the cover art a painting of Xavier of me, on our wedding day. I frown when I realize the cover is textured, hand-painted, in a style I recognize all too well. This was painted by The Muse. How is that even possible? The Muse is an anonymous painter best known for their street art, and I’ve been a huge fan for years. I once mentioned to Xavier that I wish they did book covers, and he’d laughed, telling me that there wasn’t anything in life I couldn’t relate back to my love for books.

My heart is racing as I sit down on the sofa and carefully open the book, shock coursing through me when I realize that the endpages at the front also contain stunning art, painted by The Muse. I stare at the depiction of us sitting together at The Siren, surrounded by Juliet roses, the painting spanning two pages. I remember that night all too well, and more than once I’ve wished I could return to that moment, when we were happy, and the worst we’d ever done to each other was pull stupid pranks and steal projects from each other.

My hand trembles as I turn the page and read the dedication. For my wife, the love of my life. My eyes widen when realization dawns, and I turn the page. Xavier wrote this. I inhale shakily as I begin to read.

You’d be surprised to learn that I’d never even met you when I first began to love you, but it’s true. Granted, I wasn’t ‘in love’ with you, but it was love all the same. It all started with a parcel I opened by mistake, and the sweet handwritten letter it contained, along with one single cookie, both meant for my roommate — Dion Windsor.

You see, his sweet little sister had sent him a letter, telling him she missed him so much that she’d be willing to part with one of her beloved cookies, if he’d just come back home. I’d thought to myself then, Dion Windsor was the luckiest guy alive. If not for that letter, I might have continued to keep my distance, missing out on a friendship that’s lasted a lifetime — the very same friendship that would eventually lead me to the love of my life.

I’m enraptured as I read page after page, learning that Dion gave all of his cookies to Xavier throughout their years at boarding school, and each time he received a new cookie, Dion would tell Xavier all about me and the contents of the accompanying letter. It was the only time the usually gloomy Dion would glow instead, and I loved that unknown girl for having that effect on him, when nothing else did. I think that’s when I first realized just how special you are, Sierra.

I read all about how surprised he was when he first met me in person, when Dion brought him home later that year. I was just a child myself, but you were rally little, the same age as my own little sister, and you instantly seemed to dislike me. I remember thinking to myself that you had good judgment. I, on the other hand, thought you were adorable.

I smile to myself, only for my heart to constrict painfully as I keep reading and learn about Dion asking Xavier to look out for me and our brothers after they left college, many years later. Dion stayed overseas while I came back home, and I did as I was asked, checking up on you and your siblings every few months for years. I’d begun to attend poker night with them occasionally, in part because they made it easier to cope with the fact that my sweet little sister had gone missing without a trace, and in part to make sure they were okay. It wasn’t until you came home from college that I suddenly became interested in attending every single month. You see, until then, I just had my security team watch out for you — until you walked into that conference hall, and I genuinely didn’t know what hit me. I recognized those emerald eyes of yours, but everything else about you had changed, and you were quite simply the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life. I felt terrible; you were my best friend’s little sister, six years my junior, and someone I’d vowed to look out for, so I tried my best to stay away, and God, I’ve never been more grateful to have failed at something.

It’s heartwarming to read about those first few months of my career from his perspective. Everything I thought was mere coincidence, was far from it. I pause on a part that surprises me. That morning, I’d been informed you had a meeting with a CEO that always creeped me out, and I’d been worried sick, so I made sure to schedule a meeting before yours so I could stick around after. Who could’ve known that once more, it was a cookie that would seal my fate? You were standing in the hallway, seemingly nervous as you waited for your meeting, and I’d just been about to walk up to you when you grabbed a cookie from a bag and bit into it. God, the way you moaned, Sierra… It was sinful, and I wasn’t thinking straight when I approached you, needing to know how good of a cookie it could possibly be to make you sound like that. I grabbed your wrist and took a bite of your cookie, and just like that, I made it to the top of your most hated list.

I laugh to myself as I think back to that day. I’d been so sure he’d done it on purpose, to annoy me, and he’s right — it’s what made me think of him as my nemesis. I’d begun to act sassier around him, throwing glares his way each time I saw him, and he’d smile at me every time, which would just anger me further. It didn’t help that he’d begun to criticize my work every chance he got, and I didn’t realize back then that he’d just been mentoring me, in his own way. I smile to myself as I read about every single interaction we’ve ever had from his point of view, watching our story unfold differently to how I experienced it.

I couldn’t stay away after that. I told myself I was just keeping my promise to your brother each time I teased you, quietly opening corporate doors for you while protecting you from the worst parts of the industry, but we both know I’m lying. I was falling in love with you, with each piece of paper we scribbled on during a meeting, each time we butted heads, and each project we competed for. I knew you weren’t meant for me — I wasn’t just your brother’s best friend, I also had a murky past that I didn’t want spilling over into your life, but as the years passed, and I began to reform myself, I began to think that maybe, someday, I’d become someone you could love.

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