Page 69 of By His Rule

I want to help them. I want to see them both succeed. I want to see them embark on the lives they crave, not be stuck in that shithole, drowning as their dreams vanish before their eyes.

I can’t help but smile as I flick through the photos Wilder has posted. On the outside, it looks like he’s living the kind of high school life that everyone dreams of. He’s got friends, girls, looks, and his team. Even though I know the truth about his life, the look of it makes that little loner girl inside me jealous.

I just wish it was all true. I wish the smile he gives everyone was his real one. They might not be aware of it. Hell, the only other person who knows the truth in that school is Hendrix, because he wears the exact same mask.

Hendrix’s life is quieter. His circle of friends is tighter, and he prefers to live his life out of the spotlight, but he still posts things. I’m pretty sure he only does it to stop me worrying, and as much as I hate that he feels the need to, I fucking love it too.

“Aww,” I breathe when I find a photo of him and Noelle after school on the beach.

If they don’t end up together and have all the babies, I’m going to be heartbroken. She is the sweetest, and together they’re so perfect.

It terrifies me that another guy is going to see how incredible she is before Hendrix does, and she’s going to be stolen from under his clueless nose.

With my brain fully awake from the caffeine, I continue scrolling, losing myself in snippets of other people's lives that they like to show the world.

But eventually, my need to know if Kian has responded to my email gets the better of me. Although, my curiosity isn’t enough to get my ass out of bed and go in search of my new work cell. So instead, I load up my new email account on my mail app and wait for it to load.

When my inbox shows nothing new unread, I jump back to Instagram, and before I can stop myself, I’m typing his name into the search bar.

His account doesn’t hold much of any excitement. In fact, it’s downright fucking boring.

For someone who lives a life as exciting as his, you’d really think he’d show it off.

I shake my head, trying to force out the idea that I should bring it up tomorrow. He’s something of a celebrity in Chicago. He really should have a better account than this.

Bored of his almost non-existent feed, I turn to tagged photographs of him.

“Aha.” See, you do have a life.

However, I soon discover what that life involves.

Women.

A lot of freaking women.

Almost every single photo of him with a model-worthy woman on his arm. I shouldn’t be surprised—the first few times I met him, he was doing the exact same thing.

Without thinking, I tap on the most recent image of him with a gorgeous redhead.Then my eyes drop to the date and time.

“Holy shit,” I gasp. That was posted two minutes ago.

Right this second, he is on a date with this woman, and I’m sitting here like a loser waiting for him to email me back.

Christ. Could I be any more pathetic?

I immediately close Instagram before I start digging any deeper into his date. Hell, for all I know, she could be his girlfriend.

The less I know about my boss’s extracurricular activities, the better.

I snuggle down into bed and just get myself into the perfect position when my watch buzzes.

“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter, flipping over to grab my cell and put it on do not disturb. But my good intentions are squashed when I find a message from someone I’d hoped had left my life.

I stare at it for a beat, debating deleting it without even opening it. I silently beg myself to do just that, but when my thumb moves, it isn’t to rid my cheating ex from my life again but instead to see what he’s decided to say after a blissful week without him.

Matt: I’m sorry, I know I said I’d let you go but…I miss you, baby.

My hand trembles and emotion burns the backs of my eyes as I stare at his words.

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