Page 294 of By His Vow

I’m going to be able to give this baby everything it needs and keep a roof over our heads. Plus, there are a million other jobs in the world. I don’t have to work for a fancy marketing department in the city. Hell, I’ll deliver freaking papers if it helps pay my way. I’m not fussy. All I want is a life that is my own. One that I get to choose, not one that is dictated by a man.

My man…

Kingston’s smiling face as he looms over me in bed, his hair falling into his face and his jaw rough with stubble fills my mind as grief wraps around my chest.

Over the past few days, I’ve told myself that I’m struggling to let go of everything I thought we had because I never got to properly say goodbye.

I’m pretty sure it’s bullshit, but I’m telling myself it regardless.

The truth is, I fell harder than I even thought, and walking away from him, from the life we were building together, has ripped my heart in two.

I was never meant to fall for him. I hated him, for fuck’s sake.

But I couldn’t help it. Every look, every touch, every whispered dirty word and I lost a little more of my heart to him. Pieces that I don’t think I’m ever going to get back.

I’ve never been in love before. I didn’t know what to expect. But I also can’t say that I’m surprised that losing it hurts this much. I’ve listened to enough Taylor Swift songs to understand that it’s like a baseball bat to the chest, time and time again.

Dropping the rest of my pastry to the plate, I shove it away, unable to eat any more.

Reaching for my tea—yes, my tea—I take a sip, hoping it’ll taste like something.

Nope.

I push that away as well, focusing on the people outside again in the hope of being distracted from my pain.

What did I really expect? That I’d serve him divorce papers and that he’d drop everything and come running?

Yeah, maybe a stupid, fickle part of me hoped that he would.

I may or may not have daydreamed about the doorbell on my rental ringing and him standing on the other side of the door, ready to confess his undying love for me.

A bitter laugh spills from my lips as I think about it.

It’s never going to happen. He’s more concerned about taking over Warner Group and growing his empire than he is with having me in his life. I was just an easy lay. That’s probably the only reason he’s realized that I’ve gone.

My stomach knots at the thought of that being true.

I don’t want it to be. I want to believe that something was building between us. But it’s easier to try and convince myself that it was all one-sided. It’s the only way I stand a chance of getting over it. Getting over him.

Without thought, my hand shifts to my stomach, pressing gently.

I’m never going to be able to get over him. Not since he left a piece of himself with me.

Guilt twists up my insides. I’ve known for a week. That’s a long time in pregnancy terms. He deserves to know what our short time together has resulted in. But the thought of talking to him, of telling him about it terrifies me.

A wave of nausea washes through me and I bite down on the inside of my lip, as if that’ll help.

It’s just ebbing away when someone outside the cafe’s window catches my eye.

Aubrey?

I narrow my eyes and push to my feet.

Before I know it, I’ve abandoned the little table I’ve wasted the morning sitting at and I’m out on the street, the cool breeze whipping around me, sending a shiver racing down my spine.

The sidewalk is crowded and I’m forced to stretch up on my tiptoes to try and see.

Darting around all the people, I race in the direction I thought she was going, searching like a mad woman.

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