Page 276 of By His Vow

I wouldn’t change it, though. Not for anything.

I thought I was happy before, that I was content with life, with work, with women. If anyone had asked, I’d have confidently said that anyone in a serious relationship was the one missing out. But now, I’m not sure that’s the truth.

I don’t miss my old life. But if what I’ve got now was suddenly ripped away from me, then it would hurt. Badly.

I may have agreed to the marriage, but that was only because of what was on offer business-wise. I’m pretty sure I’d have agreed to a marriage with anyone if it meant we got our hands on Warner Group. Tatum was just a bonus.

But now I can’t help thinking that Warner Group was the bonus, because Tatum was the main prize in all of this.

Even when she’s being crazy and I can’t for the life of me figure out where her head is at, she’s quite possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That realization surprises me just as much as it terrifies me.

The journey home and then the ride in the elevator to the top floor of the building seems to take longer than it ever has before.

Nothing but silence and darkness greet me when I step into the apartment. It’s a throwback to before she moved in, and I don’t like it. No. I hate it.

Unease trickles through me that she’s not here.

But unwilling to put the lights on and wake her, I silently move through the apartment and climb the stairs in search of her.

The second I step into the dark bedroom, I breathe a sigh of relief, because she’s curled up in bed with Griz beside her.

I strip and shower in record time before crawling into bed with her.

She doesn’t move or say a word, but she doesn’t have to. She’s here. That’s all I need.

I swear, no sooner have I relaxed, do I pass out. I never used to fall asleep this fast, especially after a long, stressful day, but it seems that Tatum might be the antidote I need.

Despite getting a few solid hours of sleep, I feel like a zombie when I walk back into my office the next morning.

Tatum was still sleeping when my alarm went off, and I ensured I was quiet enough to keep it that way as I snuck out of the house.

I left a note, but I hate myself for it. I don’t want to be the husband who leaves the house before sunrise and returns long after it’s set again.

I’ve literally lived through the reality of that kind of relationship, and it’s not something I ever want to go through again.

I laugh at my thoughts as I drop into the chair behind my desk. Our marriage isn’t even real. It’s based on lies and forgery. We didn’t commit ourselves to each other because of our undying love. We did it because of business.

It shouldn’t matter about being a good husband. That isn’t what we signed up for. We agreed to put on a good show in public while putting up with each other in private.

Things right now feel very different from how I saw this playing out at the beginning.

Nothing about our marriage or our relationship seems fake. Everything I feel for Tatum is very, very real. Too real.

“You look way too happy considering how little sleep we’ve had,” Miles says, inviting himself into my office.

We might both be wearing different suits from the day before, but everything else feels the same.

If it weren’t for the sweet scent of my wife that lingers in my nose, I’d believe we never actually left as he takes a seat and we continue from where we left off.

The sun rises over the city, but we’re too lost in our plans and forecasting to pay any attention. There’s movement outside of the door as the rest of the office comes to life. Judith pokes her head in to see if we want anything before disappearing again with Miles's coffee order.

We don’t have meetings scheduled until eleven, and we make the most of every second.

Unfortunately, having to tell people that their positions in the company no longer exist doesn’t get any easier, and by the time we take a break sometime after lunch, I’m at my limit.

My need to go home and lock the world out for a few hours is at a level I’m not sure it’s ever been before.

It’s because you have Tatum, a little voice pipes up.You never needed it before because this was all you had.

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