Page 75 of Wanting

I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his chest, and he sank down on the blanket, pulling me into his lap.

“I wonder too,” he whispered. “If you’d ever rather have someone who doesn’t come from a fucked-up family. Someone who’s always been — a good guy.”

Will and Richard hadn’t spoken since Will ran away with me a year ago. Rose had called a few times since, hoping to connect with Will. Eventually, she’d come alone for a strained visit to our apartment.

She’d brought an exquisite crystal bowl as a “housewarming gift.” With every glossy blonde hair in place, my aunt looked as beautiful as ever, but faint lines surrounded her eyes that hadn’t been there before. I could tell she missed her son. I sensed that Richard didn’t know about this visit. Rose had been polite and controlled, but she was trying. She’d even asked about my writing.

At the end of the visit, she’d pulled me aside. “I don’t know if I can stand it much longer, Andrea.” Bracing myself, I asked what she meant. “Him, of course. My husband. I’m sorry,” she added tightly. “About him. What he did to you. And Will.” I nodded, too shocked to respond. “I knew who he was when I married him, but I didn’t know how far he’d go.” Her gaze turned faraway. “Sometimes, Andrea, I dream of leaving him and taking him for everything he’s worth.” She winked at me. “Wait and see.”

I found my voice. “We’re here if you need us.” Not something I’d ever imagined I’d say to my aunt.

“You’re very kind.” Aunt Rose patted my cheek. “I suppose Will knew what he was about when he ran off with you.” With that, she swept out.

“We don’t choose our families,” I murmured to Will now, as the surf crashed ceaselessly against the shore. “But I chose you.”

Will let out a long breath. “Then…how about it?” All joking was gone from his face. He looked naked and open, and more beautiful than I’d ever seen him. “Us, getting married? We’ve got nothing to hide anymore.”

He was right. We didn’t advertise that we were cousins to the people we knew, but it wasn’t a deep, dark secret, either. The friends who’d known for a long time — Meg and Emily, even Spence and Pax, who had truly stuck by Will in the end — were so used to the truth that it didn’t faze them. Spence had assured us, trying to be helpful, that his own family tree was more of a bush. All the best families are.

“You’re right.” A smile took over my face. “Nothing to hide.”

Will twined a hank of my ginger hair around his hand, stroking the long strands. “We belong to each other. I want you to be my wife.”

My head buzzed with his proposal. “And…kids, someday? Do you think that’s safe?”

Will laughed. “Cousins used to marry each other all the time.”

I gazed up at the moon. “I just keep picturing our future child making a huge mess and you giving me a smoldering stare and saying ‘The staff will clean it up.’”

Will snorted with laughter. I trailed a finger down the center of his chest.

“I want a better family,” he said, all seriousness now. “I know I can do better than my dad. You’re nothing like my mom. When I have kids someday, I want to love them. Not treat them like pawns, or trap them in a golden bubble. I want their mom to be a good person. To be you.”

I took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Hope flooded Will’s face, like a sunbeam breaking through a cloud.

“Yes. Let’s do it. All of it.”

He slid his arms around me, clasping me to his hard chest. I hugged him tightly as swaying palm trees rustled overhead. I’d learned to tune into my body and emotions. To embrace what I wanted and deal with it head-on. And this felt right, completely.

The shame, the fear, the intensity of desiring too much…they’d all dissolved. I wanted Will. I loved him. It was a truth that was so good to finally accept. Sometimes, I’d asked myself if this was because he was my cousin, or in spite of it. And the answer was probably…both.

“I love you so much, baby,” he murmured, kissing my hair.

“I love you too.” I pillowed my head on his shoulder, gazing into his eyes, the ocean crashing before us. “You’re everything I could ever want.”

THE END

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