Page 32 of No Love Lost

She gestured him in, but he reached out to hold the door in place and brushed a kiss over her lips before they were visible in case Nina was close by.

Her smile widened, and it took another second for her to open the door. He grinned down at her outfit. Rainbows covered today’s flannel pants, and a soft blue fuzzy sweater wrapped around her lithe body. He loved that she didn’t feel the need to change her routine because he was showing up. Nina wasn’t visible, but he kept his voice low. “I’m starting to have a thing for flannel.”

She laughed as her face flushed. “I like to be comfy when I write.”

“I approve.”

Nina danced into the room. “Good morning. How cold is it out there? Do I need mittens?”

He grinned, feeling ridiculously pleased that his daughter wanted his opinion on the weather. “Not as bad as the other day, but the wind chill is brisk.”

Nina nodded. “Mittens it is.” Then she quickly packed a lunch box with containers from the fridge and shoved it in her backpack with some books and a binder. “Okay. I’m ready. Write like the wind today, Mom.”

Then she led the way out the door. They’d already made plans to make supper together again, so he managed to pull himself away without another kiss. He’d thought about sneaking back after dropping Nina at school, but Addy had talked about deadlines, and he needed to talk with his friends about their business. His head was spinning with ideas. All of them good and exciting and comforting. They would all keep him in Phail permanently.

Once they were in the car, Nina turned in her seat. “Have you read any of Mom’s books?”

“The ones I borrowed from you yesterday?”

She laughed. “I guess there hasn’t been much time.”

He shrugged as he pulled onto the road. “I started with her A Kid Having A Kid book last night.”

“That’s a hard one. How far did you get?”

“I finished it. Your mom is an amazing person and a fabulous author.”

“I know. She wouldn’t let me read it until after my birthday this year. Said some of the stuff was too adult for me.”

“Some of it must have been a tough read for you.”

She nodded. “For you, too.”

Man, she was perceptive. “It was. Guilt has been swirling around in my gut since I saw her in that parking lot the other day. The book made it worse, but also better.”

“What do you mean?”

Needing to put his whole self into the conversation, Heath pulled over onto a quiet road and turned on his hazard lights.

He turned to Nina. “I feel so much guilt that she went through pregnancy alone until she met Nimii. I mean, people were there, but no one who really cared about her.”

Nina’s eyes glistened, and she nodded. When she didn’t speak, he continued. “I know your mom and I both had very good reasons to believe the other didn’t care anymore, but I have so many regrets. What if I’d come back to town? What if I’d asked friends to check on her? There were things I could have done differently. Should have done differently. I lost so much, and I didn’t even know it.”

“She always told me you were a good man. That something had to have happened. One day, I complained about putting together the yearly parcel for you when you obviously wanted nothing to do with me. I said I hated you.”

A knife sliced its way into Heath’s heart, and he rubbed his chest to ease the ache.

Nina wiped away a tear. “Mom said that you weren’t the kind of person who could be hated. She said that you were kind and protective. That when circumstances were right, we’d get a chance to meet, and I’d see that she was right.”

Addy had written similar words in her book, never bashing him for leaving her alone. “Your mom’s a pretty generous soul.”

Nina nodded seriously. “She is. Mom’s the best person I know. And she was right to believe in you. You aren’t a jerk. You never were. And at least we got a chance to meet.”

Heath couldn’t help himself. He reached across the console and hugged Nina tightly. “You’re very much like Addy. Fierce and strong and kind. Thank you, Nina. I hate having missed out on your childhood, but I’m so damn glad to have found you. I love you.”

Her small arms wrapped around him, and he felt her trembling. Her voice shook as she whispered her question. “Can I call you Dad?”

His own body shook. “I would love that.” Then he laughed. “You have no idea how much I would love that.”

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