Page 45 of One Last Smile

He gives me another wary look before heading outside with his camera. I sigh and remind myself that I’ve decided not to be a detective anymore.

Of course you have, Annie’s voice taunts me. Easier that way, right? You don’t need to risk shaking up your comfortable life over some dead girl who won’t even be around to appreciate it.

“Well, what am I solving?” I say aloud. “How am I helping anyone? It’s better to let sleeping dogs lie.”

Another pithy saying. You’re full of them, aren’t you?

“How can I help anyone?” I say. “Who will benefit from anything I do? I’m not a detective. I’m not a police officer. I’m in over my head here. I’ll only make things worse.”

Is that what you told yourself when you let me go?

“Well, damn it, it’s true!” I shout.

My voice echoes, and I stiffen. The family is gone, but Lucas might still be close enough to the house to hear my outburst.

I clam up and head outside to clear my head.

I am not a detective, I remind myself as I walk through the grounds with no particular aim. I am a governess and a teacher. I will help no one by meddling.

Still…

I helped the Ashford children. I found their father’s murderer. I gave them peace.

But Minnie is gone. Oliver’s story makes the most sense. She is somewhere safe, living a life of freedom for the first time.

Still…

Eliza lied to me. Why would she lie? To protect her brother, possibly, but Oliver was adamant he told no one else. Alistair might have lied, but would Eliza protect him just because he was a distant cousin? Rupert might have lied, but why would he not simply say he knew nothing? Why sic me on Alistair?

And why would anyone worry about what I think at all? None of this makes sense! I want to believe Oliver is telling the truth, but the lies… they’re everywhere! I don’t know what or whom to trust anymore. Even Lucas could be hiding something.

Lucas…

A horrible thought occurs to me. Lucas prowls the grounds frequently. Lucas knows hidden places. Lucas has an interest in dead things. Lucas was having nightmares about Minnie. Lucas, Veronica’s favorite, tolerated by the elder two but not liked.

Lucas with his wide-eyed stare and his cameras and his introverted, repressed personality, the kind that in so many cases leads to outbursts of violence. Had he killed Minnie? It seems ridiculous, but of all of them, he’s the one who could get away with it. He would know where to take her and where to bury her. He takes pictures of dead animals, and while it’s not quite the same as torturing them, it’s possible he would escalate to taking pictures of dead people.

And who better to start with than the disgraced former friend of his sister who cheated on his brother, possibly with the town doctor who is also his mother’s former lover and his sister’s boss? Someone who not only no one would miss but whose loss they may even appreciate?

It’s a loose thread of reasoning but for the fact that if anyone here would know where to hide a body, Lucas would be the one. Other than Niall, he’s the one who knows the grounds best. That makes Niall a suspect again too, but Niall’s had two chances to kill me, and both times, he knew I suspected him.

I look up and realize I’ve made my way to the south woods again. I try to remember where Lucas showed me that hunting blind. Would he have buried Minnie somewhere out there or somewhere he’s never mentioned?

I walk through the woods, not quite daring to call his name. If he knows I’m out here alone, would he decide to eliminate me as a threat just to be safe? Would he think that I suspect him?

I look for signs of a body. I have no idea what exactly I’m looking for, but…

I stop and sigh. I’m letting my mind run away with itself. Lucas is almost certainly not the killer, but if he is, I won’t stumble onto a body by traipsing across six hundred acres of land. I’ll need more information.

Bloody hell, have I decided to be a detective again?

I head back toward the house, taking a long route that will lead me through the east garden and then the central courtyard. Nothing in the orderly rows of flowers and shrubs suggests to me that a body could be buried underneath.

Gradually, my momentary zeal subsides. I remembered the girl in the wall and allowed that to start a cascade of assumptions that led to Lucas somehow being not only Minnie’s killer, but my killer too. It’s a little absurd, really.

I sigh and look up at the sky as though God himself might open the heavens and reveal the answer. But there’s no answer to be found there.

I just need to calm myself. Focus on my job. These episodes will leave me in time.