Page 69 of Dance With Death

“Then why flinch when I touch you?”

“The shadows. You’re frightened that Dorian will sense them; I worry that you’re welcoming them.”

“You haven’t touched or kissed me in case our connection encourages the shadows?” he asks flatly.

“No. Because I’ve been rather busy,” I inform him.

This time Rowan laughs, but he isn’t amused. “If I wanted to intensify the magic, I’d take my family’s stone from Leif.”

“Have you?” I ask in horror. “Please say no.”

“No.” Rowan draws me to him, the tense magic touching me each place his body does. “When I can’t mentally cope with people or situations, it isn’t the storm magic that rushes to me anymore. That’s why I kept away from you today. The stress and helplessness prompted… other magic.”

“Which you used?” I ask hoarsely. “Where? On what?”

He takes my face in both hands, and I tense, but his fingers are warm, not cooled by the shadows. “Nothing. I could’ve stayed with you, but your distress over Holly would’ve added to mine. I kept away because I want you to know that I am not pursuing the shadows’ power.”

Isn’t he? Because despite the warmth in his hands, the shadows linger. Fear about their influence on him speeds my heart, but the magic isn’t the only reason. The physical desire for Rowan comes from more than our souls’ connection, but still confuses and overwhelms me.

Ignoring the issue evidently hasn’t helped.

“Violet.” His lips brush mine as tentatively as I touched his hand earlier. “Don’t freeze me out again.”

“I’m not. I’m preoccupied by my investigations. That’s all.”

His warm breath strokes my lips as he chuckles softly. “There’s comfort from staying close to someone who cares for you when you’re struggling.”

“I am not struggling. I don’t struggle.”

He moves back, fingers lingering, and his eyes shine in the dim moonlight. “Don’t you realize how you’ve behaved since Holly went missing? I haven’t seen you this emotional since the police locked up Leif.”

I straighten. “I do not get emotional.”

“Uh huh.” Rowan half-smiles. “How many times did you threaten to hurt Grayson? Hid in your room and avoided us? You actually attacked Grayson. Violet, you know I pick up on your emotions. You haven’t always hidden your upset.”

“I may’ve cried through frustration a couple of times. A most unsettling and unhelpful response.” I swallow. “And finding Holly in the woods, in that state, was… confronting.”

What’s more annoying? That I’ve experienced these responses, or that Rowan spells out exactly what I deny to everybody?

“Oh, Violet.”

“‘Oh, Violet’, what?”

He slides his fingers into the back of my hair. “I love you and I want to help, not just by helping with the Holly situation. I’d hoped we’d moved on since the night in my room.”

My brow pinches. “I’ve told you that I love you once. Did you forget? Am I supposed to repeat this on a regular basis?”

His mouth tips at one corner. “People usually do, yeah.”

“But once a fact is established, it does not need repeating.”

“Okay. Evidence supporting the established fact needs repeating occasionally, otherwise people may doubt that fact is still true.”

“You doubt that I love you?”

He rests his forehead on mine. “Perhaps I forget you’re the girl who once hated touch, let alone any kind of intimacy, and I misunderstood. I shouldn’t expect what doesn’t come naturally to you, but I’m out of my depth, Violet.”

“What depth? That makes no sense.”

---