Page 129 of Winterfall Destiny

The fury-filled guy who emerged in the catacombs, the one oblivious to anything but a desire to follow his own plans, has retreated, but he’s still not the Andrei I walked into the catacombs with. “A good thing?” I choke.

“The shadows overcame me, Maeve. Not only physically, but they tore into my mind, separating my thoughts and actions. I moved location to get away from them.” I frown, confused. “If they can overcome me, they can overcome the First.”

“Maybe,” I say hesitantly, and pull out my phone. “If that’s the part of you the shadows successfully attacked and not your hemia side.”

Andrei watches as I type a message. “Tobias?” I nod. “Are you gonna tell me how he upset you yet?”

I snort. “Not a chance.”

I’m at Winterfall house he’s calmer but not himself you all okay?

My pulse sounds in my ears as seconds pass without a response

are you safe?

yes

leaving now it’s a mess will come there

Now? I scratch my cheek. How long to travel back from London? Jamie used blood runes once before to take Andrei and Ash with him to the Blackwood house, but only because he copied from the grimoire. Without a grimoire and runes, the guys’ only option is to escape the tunnels and drive.

What if Andrei’s behaviour fucked up everything and somebody dies or is caught?

Jamie. My vision. “I need a drink,” I say. “Excuse me.”

Andrei doesn’t move, but his eyes settle closer to normal. “Sorry.”

I balk. “Let’s wait for the others before starting on the apologies, Andrei. Because you’ve a lot of them to give out.”

“Have I hurt you?” he whispers and takes my wrists, examining the skin.

“My magic or the shadows would’ve stopped anything you or anybody tried to inflict on me. You had no need to react like that to someone who barely touched me.”

His hand remains wrapped around my arm. “I know, but I couldn’t… I can’t… Fuck!”

“What?”

Andrei holds my face with soft fingers. “I’m obsessed with you. I’ve loved you for months, but everything’s so fucking intense since… Now. Thoughts of you wrap around my insides, choking and pulling at every part of me when you’re not around. This isn’t a voice constantly urging me to find and keep you safe, but a compulsion that scrambles my mind.” He squeezes his eyes closed. “But at the same time, I’m dealing with the craving and my head’s a mess.”

“And this is all the locked-up parts you want out? The part we witnessed in the catacombs?” I ask, placing a hand over his, and he nods before resting his forehead on mine.

We stand like this, breathing calming, grounding ourselves back in the familiar. Gradually, Andrei’s sharp edges smooth, the chilling aura warming again. I wasn’t threatened in the catacombs by Andrei or anybody, but my own mind’s a mess from what I witnessed.

The guy gripping my fingers, forehead still against mine as if afraid to look at me, is lost. For all his joking and love of his new life in the daytime, Andrei’s struggling and not reaching out. Not to me. Or any of us.

I press my lips to Andrei’s, holding them there for more than a moment, long enough that I hope he understands that we’re beneath what happened and will rise above.

“I love you,” I say, “But I don’t understand you or what’s happening.”

“I guess I’ve more to deal with than the hemia change that once worried me,” he whispers.

“Promise me that if you ever sense the First’s influence that you’ll tell me.” I step back and search his eyes, now fading back to green. “Promise me, Andrei.”

He nods and tucks hair behind my ear. “I’ll fight her inside and out, Maeve. But I promise what happened back there was all me.”

“That’s what scares me. The lack of control.” Andrei’s eyes sadden and he watches his fingers as he strokes my face, pausing on my lips. “But in a way I’m glad you’ve shown yourself,” I add.

Voices downstairs startle me. Nobody should be here. Andrei walks to the door and listens, as I strain to hear. All male. Not the First.

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