Page 11 of Winterfall Destiny

"Then why hasn't the First killed me yet?" I ask, a question that cycles in my head daily. "I'm the creature’s biggest threat."

"Not anymore," says Tobias softly. "Not if harming the First also harms Andrei. The creature is counting on that to stop you acting against it with Winterfall magic."

"No." I tap my fingers on the table. "There's more to this."

"Yeah, the thing's fucking game," says Jamie in disgust.

Tobias's eyes hold the faraway look that comes when he's considering theories or facts he doesn't want to share. I poke him and he blinks. "Tobias?"

"We can't understand the First and predict anything."

"Yes, we can," I say firmly. "Because I'll see that future and we're going to change what we can."

6

JAMIE

Anger fuels Maeve's darker side and encourages the Blackwood magic that everybody's determined to quash. I've tasted Blackwood magic myself, even before connecting with Maeve's. I used their grimoire and even though I resisted everything but the protection spell at first, I still returned to the book. The spell I created the second time—the blood rune travel to the Blackwood house—worked the first time I tried.

I used a major Blackwood, and completely illegal spell hidden deep inside a book because I'd absorbed their magic. As a skilled witch, I melded energy too easily with darker magic, spurred on by desperate fear for Maeve. Later, Tobias had 'a quiet word' with me about how I managed to cast the spell, but I downplayed the situation. Told him it was sheer luck; perhaps because the world wanted me to rescue him and Maeve.

Over and over, I’ve insisted to Maeve that she should resist the Blackwood shadows and focus on the Winterfall in case the Blackwood corrupts. Everybody puts energy into teaching Maeve to control the triggers and push away the dark magic's attempt to influence her.

But I'm her bonded witch and I now know we're all wasting our time. Maeve doesn't want to. Not truly. The Blackwood and Winterfall don't co-exist inside Maeve's soul, they're not two halves battering against each other for supremacy. The magic is interwoven into one. She was born half Blackwood, half Winterfall, and could never be one or the other.

Lex and Astrid's bond was two halves of opposing magic that at times joined and at other times resisted in the way lovers would, but ultimately the Winterfall controlled Astrid, and the Blackwood controls Lex. Would Maeve's magic be different if she'd lived amongst witches who recognised Maeve's opposing magic early in her life and worked on separating the two before they became indistinguishable?

I believe so.

Others witnessed Maeve manifest shadows, once fuelled by the magic I allowed her. I allowed her on the night Ione died and didn't withdraw my energy or force her to resist. Afterwards, I urged Maeve to stop, to go to Lex for guidance, but he's useless—teaching Maeve to resist the Blackwood and embrace the Winterfall is pointless and will do more damage. If she fights the Blackwood, the Blackwood will fight back. When Maeve allows the Blackwood through, the magic settles afterwards, like an animal unleashed, allowed to rid itself of energy before returning to constraint.

Maeve's a good person, and that doesn't come from magic. She's grown stronger and used her abilities to protect those she loves. Nothing could stop Maeve in the same way Ash wouldn't be able to prevent his dragon protecting what's precious to him.

But Maeve is also a Blackwood.

And her magic increasingly affects me too.

Again, more 'quiet words' from Tobias at how I've changed since the incident with Ione, but that's only a drop in the ocean of blood I've swum through in recent months. I've seen horrors, experienced the worst of the world, and now I'm confronted with my benevolent, protective leaders wanting to hurt not only those in my life, but those they claim to protect.

Now Andrei too. The First. Dorian's involvement. All these powerful entities surround me: the ordinary witch.

Yet I'm not. Lex tells me that I'm strong to cope as Maeve's bonded witch, but the physical desires and cravings that can exist between bonded witches always extends to magic. I absorb what once frightened me and learned that Maeve's strength helps me too.

If I spoke about this, the others would panic. Claim I'm under the influence of Blackwood magic, which could take over my good. They think I'm the weak Jamie who once hovered around the edges, unsure of his role and who instead threw himself into research and support to make up for his weaknesses.

But I'm not weak. I held back from truly bonding with Maeve for too long. We're interconnected, our own magic as tangled as what's inside Maeve, and a truth continues to creep up on me despite my denial.

I will use Blackwood magic if I need to.

I'm not frightened—there's a primordial who-the-fuck-knows-what threatening my life, who could return and snuff us out if we're no longer any use. Any worry that Blackwood magic corrupts me pales compared to that.

To take on everything we can—everything we've no choice but to face—needs everything we have. Hell, Dorian Blackwood joined us and he's the most likely to use corruption to get what he wants. Once over, I never trusted Tobias, but I have zero trust in this witch-vamp hybrid. Dorian already killed Andrei and didn't give a shit—the arsehole couldn't see the big deal about his actions.

If allowing Blackwood magic to grow inside me adds a weapon to our arsenal and helps Maeve, I won't think twice. If allowing Maeve to use my spell energy for any of her magic assists us, I'll do that.

But I'll stay silent. Toe the official line: Blackwood bad, Winterfall good. That belief is bullshit, especially if Lex told the truth about the real Adeline, the Winterfall matriarch who cursed Tobias. Why else would the two families' magic meld together so easily if they didn't have something in common?

I chew on an apple, sitting on the wood and iron bench that looks over the woods to the side of the Winterfall house. I'm not walking back inside until I've no choice. For the last three days, I've stayed as far from Andrei as I can because I can't cope. Seeing the state he's in confronts me with more than I can handle.

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