Page 7 of Winterfall Destiny

Often, the TV or voices would echo through the house from downstairs, but tonight that's a void, only the sound of Maeve's shoes on polished floorboards. She passes her room and then pauses by mine, arms crossed over her chest.

"I can't go into my room," Maeve says softly. "Not yet."

"You don't need permission to walk into mine.” I push open the door.

Maeve walks in and faces away from me and as the door clicks shut behind us her breath speeds, trembling starting in her arms and spreading through her whole body. She's silent but screaming for me and I manage to reach Maeve before she collapses to her knees, bending over and gripping her hair, every part of her trembling.

This is the Maeve I expected—the one who broke down when she sensed Jamie's distress the day Ione attacked him. I sit beside Maeve and hold tighter than I ever have in our time together, as if I could squeeze the pieces back together as she falls apart.

"This isn't happening," she chokes out. "This isn't real. Andrei isn't dying. Tell me."

I pull Maeve onto my lap, and she curls up against me, seeming smaller and more fragile. What if I say the wrong thing and break her apart further?

"Please, Tobias. Tell me. Do something." Her breathless voice is muffled against my chest, against my own breaking heart. "Take this all away."

"That's a lot of energy for me to deal with, Maeve," I say. "I'm torn apart by this, too. I'm not sure how much I can take."

"Not my emotions." She pulls back, wild eyes in her reddened face. "Do something to my mind. Wipe this out. Make me forget, so when I wake up tomorrow I won't know."

Hot hands touch my cheeks, and I shake my head. "You hated me doing that to you once before."

"This time I'm asking you to."

I half-smile. "But if you forget that you asked me, imagine the trouble I'd be in, Maeve."

"This isn't funny. What if Andrei's state unleashes more Blackwood from me than ever before? That's dangerous." Her breath shudders again. "Do you understand what it took not to walk into this house and attack that creature with everything I have? How loudly the shadows whisper? That would've been suicide, and I bet the First waited for that—for us to explode and then the thing could have its fun. Now, I'm ready to explode. Wipe my thoughts. Memories."

"Maeve, please don't ask me this."

"Not forever. When Andrei's well again, you can let me know."

"No. That's insane. I can't control your mind to the point you don't even ask where Andrei is." I swipe her tear with my thumb. "What if he takes days to recover? Weeks? Or?—"

"Or if he dies?" she asks stiffly.

"Andrei can't die, Maeve. I heard you—you won't let him." I smile, but she doesn't. "What if you spending time with Andrei helps bring him back?"

She sniffs, eyes welling again. "Okay. Take everything away for tonight?" she asks weakly. "Maybe tomorrow too?"

"Oh, Maeve." I kiss her fiercely on the head, struggling to even take a small amount from her to help ease the distress. I already battled the situation submerging me and I've struggled to swim above my emotions, but this new onslaught from Maeve drowns me.

"If you don't help, I'm searching his room for Lix." In her current state, I can't tell whether Maeve's serious. "Because I can't hold on to what's in here much longer." She holds a palm against her heart. "Everything's building and building, and because I've held down each word and feeling, things will be really fucking bad when I lose control and unleash."

"You can't know that'll happen."

"Believe me, I do," she says hoarsely and takes my face in her hands again. "I swore I'd learn to control the chaos in the shadows, and Lex has helped, but I can't do that alone tonight. Please."

Maeve's lips touch mine, salty from her tears that touch my face. I tip her chin and kiss her softly, Maeve’s sweet scent and taste evoking memories of times I kissed and held a Maeve who isn't broken. Mouth moving over hers, I gently let Maeve know that I love her with every part of me, but that I can't do as she asks. But still Maeve's arms wind around my neck, clinging to me as she urges me into a deeper kiss, unwittingly filling my mind with the anguish and pain she wants me to take from her.

I can't, even if I wanted to. My own head is fucked.

Instead, I focus on soothing her with what little of my power I have after tonight's exhaustion, stroking Maeve's hair and skin, slowing the kiss. Drawing Maeve tighter to me as I smooth away the sharp edges of her thoughts, I attempt to wipe away the ones distressing her most.

Maybe the exhaustion helps, but I've barely touched Maeve's mind before her breathing shallows and a lull fills the charged room.

I carry Maeve to my bed, where the scent of her already covers my sheets from a recent night together. As I lie with the broken-hearted girl I love, tucked against me, I stare at the yellow beams of moonlight across the ceiling, wishing somebody could take my thoughts too.

There's a whole lot from my past life I'd like to forget; memories I wish someone would erase. But this? If Maeve weren't in my arms, I would be screaming out everything within my body and mind that I've held back since I saw Andrei's blood-soaked body on the floor.

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