Page 108 of Winterfall Destiny

"Anastasia?" he asks quietly and when I don't immediately reply, his cheeks grow pink. "Tell me you're joking."

"No." I chew my bottom lip. "I feel sick when I think about him with Anastasia, but there's nothing I can do. I have to accept that's Tobias's past."

"His past?" Jamie chokes out. "How do we know Anastasia didn't have influence over Tobias before she died?"

"I would say the Confederacy screwing with his mind and the curse would've stopped any chance of that," I say, telling Jamie what I've persuaded myself too. "And Tobias would've stopped Ash from killing her under the academy if she had any influence left."

He rubs his fist against his mouth and walks to the window, silently staring at the street below. Am I about to trigger a Jamie explosion? Because the room thickens with a darker energy. "Ash knows?"

"Yes."

"I presume Andrei doesn't." Jamie looks back when I don't reply. "No? How do you think he'll react?"

"Worse than you, especially since he's overprotective right now," I say quietly. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" He chokes a laugh. "No, I'm bloody not. And you're unnaturally calm about this, Maeve. Did Tobias do something to your mind?"

"No. I'm furious that Tobias hid this, but what can I do? Anastasia is dead. What's the point in fighting with Tobias? Our focus is on here and now." I say the words I've repeated in my mind again and again, while pushing away images of the morning at the Blackwood House—Tobias sitting with Anastasia at breakfast like old friends. Lovers.

"Tobias hid this tiny fact from us all," says Jamie through gritted teeth.

"We've accepted that Tobias will always hold back parts of his past. I know most of what he hides now—you know, too, but please leave the situation alone."

Jamie mutters something under his breath. "If we weren't so close to the end of all this and need him, I wouldn't hold back my thoughts, Maeve."

"I want this to end,” I whisper. "For us all to live together, untouched, unthreatened. Am I asking the impossible?"

"No." He takes and kisses my fingertips. "This bullshit can't last forever."

Jamie's lips press to mine, softly at first, until I slide a hand into the back of his hair and move my mouth harder against his. His arms circle me, holding me to him as if clinging to our moment as we share a kiss filled with love and magic.

"I'm desperate for time with you away from here," he whispers, lips against the dip in my shoulder. "Sometimes when we're all together, it's deafening, and I lose you in the noise."

"The magic?" I pull away and gaze at him.

"No, the sheer amount of energy created around the group overwhelms me." He kisses my forehead. "I want quiet. Us. Like the night at Lex's."

"Naked in a cold house by a fire?" I tease.

He smiles. "Don't send my mind in that direction."

"I love you, Jamie," I say softly. "You've stepped away from the edges and not hiding your thoughts any longer. And I love you more for that."

He sighs and traces my face with his fingers. "I think I pissed off the others recently."

"Why? Because you spoke up?" He shrugs. "You know the heart of me more than anybody else. You understand our magic and if you believe that together we can manage the shadows, then I know it's possible. We'll arrange to see Lex again as soon as possible."

"Hmm. As long as Lex doesn't kick my backside and then lock you up for your own protection."

My eyes go wide. "Lex would never do something like that. If you knew Astrid's history, you'd understand why."

"Understand Lex? He's a closed book to me, Maeve."

"I think Lex always has been. To everybody." I shake my head. "We'll cross that bridge when we've smashed Gabriella's. I'm still trying to contact him."

"Off the grid again?" he asks.

"I'm not surprised after the fallout with the other guys about his lies. I bet he's watching Astrid."