Page 8 of All Roads Lead to You

“What? No, that’s not it—”

“Did you even love me?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“But you don’t love enough to be honest with me.”

“Nicky, please…”

“Forget it. We’re over right this second.”

“Nick?”

I turned around and headed straight into the kitchen as she called out to me, but I ignored her. Fuck her.

Hold it together, Nick. Hold it together.

But I couldn’t. I shoved my way through the crowd, ignoring people who had no idea what had happened and those who overheard everything, taking shuddered breaths and not letting my lip tremble. When I reached the kitchen, I snagged a bottle of some amber liquid and headed outside.

I should’ve gone home. Instead, I planned to drink this aching pain away.

Two and a half years with Lauren, and for what? For her to give up on me because she didn’t want to settle with her high school boyfriend. What the fuck was that about?

Worst party ever.

I found a quiet corner by the pool, stretched out in a lounge chair, and chugged a fourth of the bottle, choking when I came up for air. The burn felt good, distracting me from my pain and loss. I pounded my chest with a fist when I burped, and the alcohol threatened to come up.

Friends, acquaintances, and people I didn’t know splashed and played in the pool, girls sitting on their boyfriends’ shoulders as they wrestled, all oblivious to my shattering world.

What was I going to do now? Lauren was all I knew.

It's funny how people just quickly dismissed me, as if my feelings didn’t matter. Dad walked out, never to talk to me again, uncaring about how damaging that had been. Lauren just made entire life-changing plans, not bothering to care enough about my feelings to talk to me about it. Logan hated me for simply fucking existing. I tried so hard to get people to like me, and for what?

I gave everyone at the party the bird as I gulped down more liquor.

Fuck people.

Chapter 3

Logan

Hunter and I came to this party to unwind and have fun, but neither of us was in the mood. We had to make our appearance, anyway, so we tucked ourselves against a wall to drink and people-watch. As much as we needed to socialize, our vibe definitely told everyone to ‘back off.’

“Careful, he caught you watching him,” Hunter said as I stared at Nick dancing with Lauren, unable to pry my eyes off him like some deranged stalker. “I love him giving you the bird, though. He’s got some balls on him.”

I grunted in acknowledgment and took a long pull from my beer bottle. He really did. Nick never backed down when I pushed.

I couldn’t take my eyes off my stepbrother, fucking hating that he always sucked me in, like I had no control over myself whenever he was close. Nick pulled me in magnetically, not just from his appearance but also from his overall vibe, with his ready smile, outgoing personality, and always full of vibrant energy. Everyone liked him.

With more strength than I knew I had, I yanked my eyes away because I didn’t want anyone to notice. It took exhaustive effort to hide my sexuality. How did one successfully hide their true self? It felt impossible to pretend to be someone else sometimes. It was also suffocating, making me feel alone even when I was constantly surrounded by people. The mood between Hunter and me didn’t help, either.

Nick’s energy yanked at my attention when he returned from the kitchen with a beer and a cooler for Lauren. Right before he reached her, the entire scene suddenly shifted. No longer was he my happy-go-lucky stepbrother. Instead, the room grew ice cold, and his face was both hurt and angry. They were fine walking into the party and dancing, but something had dramatically shifted.

Suddenly, she started crying, and her friends wrapped their arms around her protectively as Nick stormed off.

“Oh, shit. Did they just break up?” Hunter asked. “I thought those two were glued at the hip.”

My eyes traced Nick until I couldn’t see him any longer when he headed outside with a bottle of liquor. “Same here.”

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