Page 82 of All Roads Lead to You

I crawled over to him, sitting on my knees and resting my chin on his shoulder. “But what?”

“Don’t you want marriage and kids? I mean, you used to talk about it all the time with Lauren.”

I did want a family. But as of this moment, being with Logan and having to choose between a man and a woman, I’d choose the man. I only had two people to compare to, but Logan had been far more interesting, deeper, and sexy.

Perhaps I should tell him that.

“Yeah, but that’s all big future stuff. If being with Lauren has taught me anything, it’s that we can’t plan for every little thing, which could go sideways in an instant. Not that I want to live life on maybes, but for now, I want to try this with you. I’m not afraid.”

“You should be.”

“Maybe I should, but I don’t feel it. I really like where this is going between us.” I reached for his face and pulled him toward me. “Look at me, Logan.”

Logan turned to face me and grabbed my hand, playing with my fingers.

“You’re so raw and real. Fuck, if I’d known what kind of person you really were deep down behind that fucking mask of yours… I’m not afraid because it’s you. You’re comfortable, you’re home, and you’re… I don’t know. You set my body on fire like it’s never been set before. I have a feeling that once we have sex, if we choose to, there won’t be any turning back for me, either.”

“Being pan or whatever… you’re always going to be labeled as gay with me. Other people won’t understand.”

“Are you trying to talk me out of this? Do you want to stop this thing between us?”

“What? No. It’s just…”

“You want to make sure I know what I’m getting myself into.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

I took his face between my hands to make him look at me again. “Do you think I didn’t hear those homophobes make comments to the men in line at the club? I did. Do I think this will be easy for us? No, I don’t. But let’s not plan so far into the future right now. It’s only been over a week, Logan.”

He sighed and looked at me with those beautiful eyes of his, full of worry and affection. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for talking shit out. And if having sex is too much, then we can skip that part. I’m fine with what we’re doing.”

“No, I want it all, Nick.”

“Then you’ll have it all.”

Chapter 25

Nick

Day 12

Logan and I had a great day exploring Austin, and we had some of the best Tex-Mex food ever for lunch. Afterward, we took a drive around the Hill Country.

But all I could think about was the present moment.

I sat on the bed in our motel room in only my underwear, watching 21 Jump Street on TV while Logan showered, but I wasn’t paying attention to it at all. I wiped my clammy hands on the ugly red-and-brown plaid bedspread.

Tonight was the night. After talking more today about sex, Logan and I decided we’d try it, so we hit a store to buy condoms, extra lube, and an enema bulb. We also debated on who would fuck and who would be fucked. In the end, Logan wanted me to be inside him because I had more experience with sex.

This was a massive step for us, and it could change everything. Thank fuck we talked about this. Our communication had been stellar so far, and I was grateful for it. Once Logan had let down all his walls, he became an open book.

The bathroom door suddenly opened, and Logan stepped out with a white motel towel wrapped around his waist. His body shimmered with water droplets, reflecting the light from the room. After running a towel through his hair, his hair was a wreck, which made him sexier, for some reason.

I sat up and put my feet on the floor as we stared at each other. Our nerves were crackles of electricity in the room. You could feel the energy of it.

“Ready?” I asked.

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