Page 60 of All Roads Lead to You

“It doesn’t scare me. That’s the part I’m kind of wigging out about. Like, I should be weirded out, right? But I’m not. Even that first drunken kiss felt… good. But that second kiss in the lake? I was on fucking fire.” He sighed and tossed the towel onto his bag. “You stroking me wasn’t for practice. I really wanted you to touch me, and I really wanted to touch you. I don’t understand it. Am I bi? It doesn’t feel like it because I’m not into other guys at all, so I’m just a bit confused.”

A part of me wanted to jump him and just smother him in kisses. To finally claim the man I’d always wanted. The other part terrified me. If I let Nick in any more than I already had, and he left me, I’d surely break into tiny pieces, never to be repaired again.

I also didn’t want to bring him into my world.

“What do you want from me, Nick?”

His soulful dark eyes were so large, full of struggling emotions, that I wanted to take him into my arms and hold him, to never let go. To tell him I was the one who got him and would protect him like a shield, as he’d done for me by the tree. But I didn’t move a muscle.

Lightning brightened the small space for a second before the thunder clapped overhead while the rain pelted our tent.

“I… want to explore this thing building between us.”

My hands clenched and unclenched. I growled and dug into my bag to find a clean T-shirt and tossed it on. “I’m not a goddamn experiment!” I said again.

“Dammit, Logan! Can you just calm down and talk to me? Do you really think that lowly of me that I’d use you like that? Or fuck with you? I thought we’d come to some mutual respect between us. God! You’re so fucking intense all the time!”

“Out with it then. What else does explore mean?”

“You know what? Fuck you and your sarcasm. You got to explore with me, and willingly, I might add. You used me, and I let you. Hell, it’d been my idea, but you went along with it so you could explore. Why is it so different for me?”

“Because…”

I ran a hand through my damp hair, unable to vocalize my conflicting thoughts.

“I don’t want to explore with you sexually, Logan… Okay, I do, but it’s more than that. I feel it in my bones. There’s something there. We’ve always had this weird tension between us. Before, it was like I knew you were watching me without seeing you. Or sensing this connection to you whenever you played that record I’d ruined, which I still feel fucking horrible about. Now I realize why you love it so much. I want to explore what this means… for us. I also understand you so much more, and I’ve come to really like you.”

Shit, I really wanted to give in to him, but he was off to one college, I was off to another. Then there was the whole stepbrother thing.

I rubbed my face and growled, unsure of what to do or say.

“No more growling, Logan. Yes, let’s explore this thing between us and see how it goes for the next couple of weeks. We can rehash this and see where we’d like to go from there after that.”

But I love you, and I won’t want to let you go. That was the only thing holding me back. Once I had a taste of him, it’d be game over for me.

You’ve already had a taste of him, dipshit. And he’s letting you have so much more.

“This feels…”

Nick reached for my face and gently cupped my cheek. “Talk to me.”

“This feels too good to be true. I’ve…”

“Wanted me for a while?”

I closed my eyes and nodded.

“Now it’s my turn to want you.”

I opened my eyes when his lips pressed to mine, only to close them again and get lost in our kiss and his tongue. We definitely weren’t practicing anymore. This was real. Nick wanted to kiss me.

There was no turning back now. This time, right now, would either make or break me. I could only hope for the former. Landmines suddenly surrounded my life. One misstep and my heart would be blown to pieces, but in the center was everything I’d ever wanted. I had the chance to find some sort of happiness and end my loneliness. I would take it.

My hand slid through the wet hair at the back of his head and pulled him closer to me. My other hand explored his smooth, chilled skin, sprinkled with goosebumps. He smelled of soap and rain and tasted like forbidden ecstasy.

His hand slipped under my T-shirt and traveled across my chest, grazing a thumb over my nipple. A shiver traveled inside and out of my body.

“Like that, do we?” he asked over my lips.

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