Page 44 of All Roads Lead to You

Good point.

“But I’m gay, and you’re not.”

“So? By the way, I actually do have more experience kissing guys than you.”

I raised a brow and scoffed. “Please.”

“Yep, Caleb and I were around thirteen-ish and in the eighth grade. We really wanted girls and had no idea how to kiss at all, so we practiced with each other.”

I snorted a laugh, struggling to believe it. “Caleb? The dude who can’t keep it in his pants for any girl?”

“The very one. I gotta say, he’s a pretty good kisser. It’s why the girls like him; that and his model looks. Once I started dating Lauren, I had a good idea of how to make a kiss good for her. Now, I want to pass that knowledge along to you.”

With a flicker of hope, I suddenly saw Nick in a new light. I should squash this. Hope was dangerous to my heart.

Fuck, should I do this?

It would be nice to know how to kiss right. Pecking wasn’t the same—as Nick had made abundantly clear. Shit, but what if I liked it too much? Of course, I’d like it. Could I fight my attraction to him after this? Maybe if I treated the kiss from a clinical standpoint. Ugh, impossible. There was nothing clinical about wanting Nick.

“Caleb’s straight and safe.”

He thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “A guy is a guy, right?”

“And you all were kids.”

“So what? Caleb still isn’t a girl.”

“And we’re stepbrothers.”

“We aren’t blood-related, weirdo.”

Nick suddenly waved his hands in the air and shook his head. “Wait, wait, wait… Look, it doesn’t matter. The point is, practicing how to kiss really helps, and it gives you confidence when you find your partner.”

His brow furrowed, and he looked deeply into my eyes as he leaned forward, hovering his face over mine. He was so close that I felt his heat and breath on my skin, which smelled of beer and toothpaste. “So, how about it?”

“Okay,” I whispered before I could take it back.

“Awesome!”

I just had to remember this was only for practice. Nothing more. Nothing less. I would get nothing out of this other than experience. Then maybe I could hit a gay bar without feeling totally inept.

He pulled away and sat up straight. I crossed my legs to mirror him. “Now, you don’t want to put your lips on top of the other person’s mouth. You’re not giving CPR. You also don’t want to pound your mouth against the person either. Well, you can. It depends. Sometimes kisses are all hungry, rough, and shit…”

“What’s a hungry kiss?”

“You know, like… you need to kiss them in order to, like, live.”

“How do I know when to be gentle or rough?”

Nick tapped his lips with his forefinger, and I couldn’t pry my eyes off them. “Hmm. You just have to know the signs, you know? It’s hard to explain, but if you’re intimate with someone, usually you have a good idea of what the situation calls for. Or you can follow your partner. Let them take the lead.”

“Okay.” I was still kind of confused, and all the drinking didn’t help, but I tried to make a mental note.

“You want to turn your partner on with a kiss by using everything at your disposal and whatever they’ll let you.”

I sat quietly, listening to his instructions.

“You have to move your mouth and use your tongue, but not too much tongue. You don’t want to, like, lick their tonsils. But you also want to touch the body somewhere, like cupping the cheek or placing your hand at the nape of the neck. Maybe you can run your hand along their chest. I’m not sure if guys like being touched there like girls do or not. I mean, I do… Anyway! Here, like this.”

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