Page 40 of All Roads Lead to You

Nick opened our shared suitcase and pulled out a pair of jeans, a red polo shirt, and a white sports coat. “This, of course. I look good in red.”

He definitely did.

“If you haven’t noticed, I don’t dress like you.”

“Yeah, because you’re boring. You’re like an old man, dude.”

Nick rummaged through my clothes, pulling out shorts, T-shirts, tank tops, and my fucking underwear. My body shivered as if he was touching me instead of my clothes.

“Ah, here we go.” He held out my short-sleeved button-up in navy blue with a white paisley print. “This will look totally dope on you.”

I pulled my T-shirt over my head, tossed it on the bed, and put on the button-up. Once it was on, Nick, still only wearing that damn towel, rolled up my sleeves until they were close to my shoulders.

“Perfect. Now, tuck it in.”

As I put the shirt inside my jeans, he popped my collar, bent down, and rolled up my jeans around my ankles.

“Now you look hot.”

He turned away just in time as my face flamed. I tried not to read too much into his comment. It was just an observation. Nothing more.

Once we were ready, we stepped outside into the humid evening and walked several blocks toward downtown, trying to decide what bar to go to. I hated to pick a place, pay for cover, and end up being bored.

“Let’s ask around,” Nick said, reading my mind.

He walked over to the first man approaching us, who appeared to be in his fifties.

“Excuse me, sir. We’re from out of town. Is there a good bar to hang out in, and to drink and dance?” Nick asked.

The older man scanned us both up and down, then pointed down the street. “Down thataway about two blocks yonder is The Chute. You boys should have a good time there.”

“Righteous! Thanks, sir.”

“Yes, thanks.”

Nick smiled and bumped me with his shoulder as we walked down the street. “This is going to be epic. I hope they’ve got some good country music, because I really want to two-step.”

I chuckled. “I’ll two-step myself over my feet and fall on my ass. It’s better that I just watch.”

“I don’t know how to either but come on! Learning new things is bitchin’.”

Dancing wasn’t for me. Who would I dance with, anyway? Nick? Not a chance. There would be no dancing for me. Maybe I would when I reached Berkeley and found that gay bar.

There was no line, so the bouncer checked our fake IDs and let us inside, where we had to pay another guy a two-dollar cover.

“Have fun,” he said, winking at us as we stepped inside.

“What was that about?” I asked, and Nick shrugged.

We stopped in our tracks and looked around at the large place blaring ‘Pump Up The Volume’ by M/A/R/R/S. What stood out the most was the lack of women. There were only a handful of them. I’d never seen so many men dancing and in various states of dress in one place in my life. Most were without shirts.

“Uh, that guy must have thought we were gay, man. Well, you are, but still,” Nick yelled over the music. Then he put his hand on his stomach, threw back his head, and laughed. “Oh, god, that’s fucking hilarious!”

I would’ve laughed, too, but I wasn’t ready for this. I was totally not prepared to be out and proud after being in the closet all my life. Even worse, I wasn’t ready to spend time with another man in front of Nick, the very person I wanted.

My heart beat a little faster as I watched the men grind against each other and some standing there, making out for all the world to see. This was their safe space, but for me, it showed how inept I was at being myself. All these men had a lifetime of experience that I didn’t.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” I said, turning around.

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