Page 38 of All Roads Lead to You

“Because, dude, that wasn’t a kiss.”

“Well, then, what was it?”

“As I said, you literally hammered my mouth with yours.”

His face morphed from a scowl to something softer, then to a smile, and suddenly he started laughing. That was the best fucking sound in the world. “Yeah, I’m not so good at kissing.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

He bumped my shoulder, still smiling, loving this lighter side to him. I especially loved that he’d calmed the hell down finally. It was like all that heavy shit fell off his shoulders when he told me his truth.

“Ass,” he said, but in no way cruelly.

“Seriously, like, why did you kiss me? I was honestly expecting a punch in the face.”

Logan sighed and picked at the cuticle on his thumb. “Because I wanted you to hate me and just get it over with. I assumed you’d figured out my secret.”

He wasn’t telling me everything. I could tell there was a lie in there somewhere, or it wasn’t a complete truth because it didn’t quite ring true, but I wouldn’t push. This had been a lot for Logan. Telling someone you were gay must have been fucking hard.

“I’m sorry,” he said, wiping away a couple of stray tears. “The fear can be gripping sometimes. And it’s lonely as hell. At the same time, I just want to shout out to the stars and say, ‘fuck it.’”

That was the first time I truly got Logan. “I actually get that. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to pretend to be someone else all the time. It must be fucking exhausting.”

He looked at me with understanding in his eyes, and maybe there was a hint of appreciation. “It really is.”

“I’m assuming Hunter knows?”

“Yeah, he’s known as soon as I figured it out.”

“He’s a good friend.”

“He’s the fucking best.”

“I never understood your friendship with you being so different from each other, but I get it now.”

He wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his head on his knees as he stared out at the calm water, no longer reflecting the moon as it passed on over the hills. I’d never seen Logan so vulnerable. While I didn’t understand his sexuality, I wanted him to be comfortable around me.

“You asked me tonight why I’m afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. People like me aren’t made to have happy endings, Nick. Sure, gay men find each other, date, fuck, or whatever, but there’s no marriage and definitely no kids.”

“Are you sure about that? I mean, I don’t know the laws. And there’s surrogacy if you want kids, right?”

He shrugged. “I… don’t know, honestly.”

“Do you think maybe you’re doing a lot of projecting from your fears?”

He shrugged. “I could be, I guess.”

“I think we should find out more about the laws before you fall into despair. I don’t mean to diminish your feelings, but I think we should look into this more if family’s what you want.”

“We?”

I smiled at him and shook my head. “Yeah, we, dumbass.”

“What about Dad? What will he think if he learns the truth? What about Mia?”

His fear rolled off him so strongly that even I felt it. “I’m sure Wyatt will be fine with it, right? I mean, he loves you, Logan. Mom does, too.”

“It terrifies me sometimes.”

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