Page 112 of All Roads Lead to You

We’d come so far in such a short period, learning so much about each other, and now we were back to facing reality, which was fine as long as we never went back to how we were. The thought niggled that we would, which was stupid. I needed to trust Logan, but his mood this morning reminded me of how we started before this trip began.

But when he took my hand and smiled at me behind his sunglasses, I instantly relaxed. Despite Logan’s intensity, he had a way of calming even me when he was in his moment and out of his head. I also loved how a simple touch kept me grounded.

No, I loved more than his touch. When someone like him could make my heart palpitate by a mere look or stroke of a hand on the cheek, or when he had my stomach in perpetual knots—but in a good way—I knew I’d not only fallen hard for him, but I was ready to tell him.

Fuck, it was so fast. Would Logan believe me? Despite knowing him for years, we’d only truly gotten to know each other in the past three weeks. In that period, I couldn’t imagine a day without holding him, kissing him, or fucking him. Being with Logan felt as easy as a warm and gentle breeze.

I squeezed his hand. “Logan?”

He quickly glanced at me before looking back onto the road as he drove. “Yeah?”

“I want to tell you something before we reach Wyatt.”

A frown formed on his face, but he didn’t look at me again. “Okay.”

I guess that sounded bad. “I know I’ve already claimed you as mine, but it’s more than that.”

Logan visibly relaxed, easing his tight grip on my hand, which he still held. “How’s it more?”

“I love you.” There. I said it, and I meant it. There was no turning back, and I didn’t want to. I wanted to go forward with Logan in my life. “Yeah, it’s fucking fast, but it doesn’t scare me. Hell, it feels like we’ve been together for months, not two weeks. This whole thing between us has been an unstoppable mudslide, taking all our emotions and grinding them into the mix until we finally settled into a perfect place. It’s worked for us, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Y-you love me?” Then Logan’s smile became one part smirk and one part shy. “I love you, too.”

“We’re going to make this work, okay?”

He sat up straighter, and with the most confidence I’d ever seen him show, he gave a curt nod. “Then we’ll work.”

He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles before focusing on driving in silence, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to a song in his head.

I popped in a tape, listening to ‘Killing Moon’ by Echo and the Bunnymen, and leaned my head back to stare out at the beautiful mountains as we made our way closer and closer to our eventual separation, at least temporarily. I needed to remember that.

It was right after three in the afternoon when we pulled into the Holiday Inn parking lot. Logan removed his sunglasses and tossed them on the dash, staring and scowling at the squat motel just off the highway.

Please don’t have doubts, Logan. Don’t give in to the negative voices.

I could imagine his nerves now that we were about to be face-to-face with Wyatt.

“What if Dad notices?” he asked.

“How?”

“I don’t know. Parents are like intuitive and shit.”

“Wyatt won’t figure it out unless you tell him.”

“I kind of want to, but I’m also terrified.”

It suddenly dawned on me that if Logan came out as gay, if we admitted we were together, I’d have to come out, too. I hadn’t exactly had tons of time to process my pansexuality. But he was right to be nervous. Reality had officially set in, and we needed to be prepared.

“Maybe I should test the waters and just tell him I’m gay. His reaction will hinge on whether we tell him about us.”

“That sounds like a solid plan, baby. But only if you want to. If you feel the need to stay in the closet, I’ll be there in the dark with you. If you feel the need to be open and free, I’ll celebrate with you. No matter what, I’ll be by your side.”

He stared at me with so much pain in his eyes when I’d been expecting determination or love or… I didn’t know. Just not that.

“Nick… are you sure? God, I know I sound like a fucking broken record, but while I love you, I, like, totally want to protect you, even if that means letting you go.”

As we sat in the parking lot, I rested my hand on the safest spot on his body, his shoulder, and breathed in calming air while my stomach formed a painful knot. No fucking way was he going to let me go. “I appreciate that you want to protect me, but let me decide what’s best for me, yeah?”

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