Page 79 of Pippin & Nacho

His eyes watered, and his lip trembled, looking uncertain as to what to do. I had no emotional attachments toward the man I barely recognized, but his emotions pulled them out of me, anyway.

He quickly swiped his face. “Can I sit?”

Sam removed his earbuds and squeezed my hand, staying quiet. I nodded and introduced him to Sam.

The air was heavy with awkwardness as we sat in silence before Stix’s mom came up and took his order of just coffee.

“I… never thought I’d ever see you again,” my father finally said. “Biggest fucking regret of my life…” He choked back a sob and scoffed, looking around the restaurant with slumped shoulders. “Maybe this place is too public for a meeting like this.”

“Why?” I blurted.

He furrowed his thick brows and nodded. “Yeah, you deserve that. Uhm, your mama—”

“Is dead. I know.”

He nodded again. “Sepsis. She got it after we got home from the hospital. She had a really high fever, was shaking, and struggled to breathe. I rushed her to the emergency room, and the doctors tried to save her, but she died anyway.”

So they had brought me home first. That didn’t look like abandonment at first glance.

“You arrived in this world a bit early, but you were healthy beyond that. Your mama and I were so damn young. Too young for sex. Too young to have a child… But you know, we were teens and thought we had the world all figured out.”

Ms. J returned with our food and his coffee before eyeing Isaiah again with a protective vibe, but walked away, saying nothing.

“I loved your mama as teens might. When we learned we were having a baby, I wanted to do the right thing. I put in more hours at work while trying to keep up my grades at school. She took on work, too… God, our parents had been furious with us, but we were determined to keep you and do the best we could. Your mama wanted you so much. I did, too, but mostly, I just tried to step up and be a man.”

My eyes watered, and some tears slipped. To hear those words shattered my view of my parents. To learn that they might have cared about me once… I didn’t know if that was a relief or if it hurt more.

“My parents were assholes. They hurt me, and it really messed me up. Nate here has been amazing and has taken really good care of me… sorry, this isn’t about me… Anyway, I just mean Nate’s great. Sorry…” Sam slouched and frowned at himself.

“Thanks, baby,” I said.

Isaiah scanned Sam for a bit before looking back at me, probably noticing for the first time how closely we sat together.

Sam’s hand started to get really clammy like mine, and his fingers trembled a bit, so I leaned in to whisper. “You can eat and put your earbuds in. I’ll fill you in later. You being here is enough, okay?”

He bit his bottom lip and nodded. Once his earbuds were in, he started to scarf his eggs and hash browns.

“Is he a friend, or…?”

“Sam is my forever person… My best friend, foster brother, and boyfriend.”

He nodded and looked at Sam again. “I’m glad you have someone in your life like that.”

I had no idea how tight my muscles were until he spoke those words that completely lacked judgment.

Isaiah’s long fingers spun his untouched coffee mug around on the table while my food got cold. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d passed up a plate of nachos. I’d have to bring it home, not wanting to waste our money.

He exhaled a shuddered breath. “Your mama lay there in the hospital bed, unmoving, still looking alive, as I held your tiny little body swaddled in blankets in my arms, only a week old. The grief hit me so fucking hard, along with a hefty dose of fear. Her mother wailed in the room while her father cried silently in a dark corner… your grandparents… fucking bastards.”

I looked up at him with the venom in his voice. “What?”

“Look… Nathaniel—”

“Nate.”

“Nate… I fucked up, okay? We both did, but we really tried to keep you and do the right thing… but our parents? Nah, they were all about the ‘you made your bed’ attitude and refused to help. All of them wanted Ines… Inny, to get an abortion or give you up for adoption.”

I’d often wondered if I would’ve been better off if I’d never been born, but then I’d met Sam, and for once in my life, I didn’t feel so alone.

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