Page 75 of Pippin & Nacho

“I’m sorry.”

His brows scrunched, probably reaching into his memory banks for something I may have done.

“I thought I was protecting you, but it turned into control. You’re so strong and brave. It seems like I don’t give you enough credit for that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I run everything, from bills to grocery shopping to making you lists, but you don’t need help for everything. Yeah, you help out, but it’s like I kept doing these things more for me than for you. I figured that if I took good care of you, you’d never leave me, and I didn’t want you stressed out. I see that now. I’ve been… overbearing.”

“But I like it. You set routines I can understand and help me to remember things. It makes me feel… safe and cared for. You’re not harming me, if that’s what you think.”

“Yeah, you forget sometimes, but so what? I just…”

Sam put down his sandwich and grabbed my hand resting on the table. “It works for us. I don’t want things to change. It’s… been hard enough with you working more.”

I nodded. “Okay. I just want you to know how amazing you are. And if you need more space, please tell me.”

His smile grew and turned crooked. “So are you. Neither of us is perfect, Nate. I really struggle with grasping that sometimes. I don’t always see myself in a good light, but that doesn’t make us any less special… for each other. Maybe others don’t see what we do, but we fit and work well together, like little machine parts that spin and move in sync, so everything works properly. Some bits might be rusted or worn, but the machine continues to move with some love and maintenance.”

I chuckled. He had such an awesome way of seeing the world. “That’s a good way to look at it. Thanks, Sam, for always being you.”

I chugged down some apple juice as Sam went back to scrolling his phone. “I’m going to text Alpha for help in finding my parents.”

“Okay.” Sam stood and pulled the chair next to me. “Let’s do this.”

Me: Can you do me a favor?

Alpha: Of course, anything.

Me: I want to find my parents, but I don’t know how.

Alpha: You sure?

Me: Yeah.

Alpha: We can do an online search for your birth certificate and get your parents’ names from there, and social services may still have your records.

Me: Any help you can give me.

A second later, my phone rang. “Hey.”

“Is there a reason you want to reach out to them or to find them now?” Alpha asked. “I want to make sure you’re certain because you may regret it. Sometimes there’s truth in that old saying, ‘ignorance is bliss.’”

“Yeah, it’s what has held me back for so long, but I think I’m ready now. I’ll accept whatever the truth is. I’ve felt abandoned by them for so long. Right now, I just want to know who they are. Then I’ll decide if I want to approach them or not, especially after being in the hospital, where they asked me about all my health history, and I wasn’t able to tell the doctors anything. So, at least I can get some history from them.”

“Alright. Let’s find your parents.”

It took nearly a month to get a copy of my birth certificate and the rest of my records from foster care. The process took so long that I almost gave up wanting to even try reaching out.

Now, Sam sat next to me as we scanned my birth certificate. The piece of paper told me nothing other than my name, place of birth, sex, birth date, and my parents’ names.

Mother: Ines Hidalgo

Father: Isaiah Lamont

“Aw, you were six pounds and two ounces. Hard to believe you were so small,” Sam said, resting his chin on my shoulder from behind so he could read everything with me.

I snorted a laugh and rolled my eyes. “Shut up. I know I’m short.”

---