Page 48 of Pippin & Nacho

“Hang on, baby. Let me get lubed up. In fact, roll over onto your back. I want to see your face when we do this.”

My stomach flipped all over the place, and my breathing picked up as I turned over, watching Nate lube his stiff cock between my propped-up legs. Nerves, excitement, fear, and want all culminated into this monster of emotions. Nate and I were actually going to have sex for the first time. After all these years of our silence, it was finally happening.

Nate crawled back into the bed and hovered over me, and my breath caught with his fathomless eyes filled with a galaxy of love. If I ever doubted him and his feelings for me, I was sure right then. Who knew how long it would last, but for now, I felt his love emitting from the very pores of his skin.

I reached for his face when he leaned in, pulling him so our lips met—cotton candy soft lips, and he smelled like some tropical drink. I needed to make a drink that smelled like Nate, and I’d call it Polaris Under the Sun, full of coconut, lime, maybe some Mezcal, or a splash of rum—

He gently tugged at my lip ring with his teeth and looked at me with smiling eyes, bringing my attention fully to him.

His hand rested on my cheek, cupping my face with his usual delicate tenderness. “Ready for me, baby?”

“Yes. More than ready.”

“Tell me to stop any time it hurts or you feel uncomfortable, okay?”

I swallowed the lump made from nerves as I nodded. “Yeah… I will.”

As much as I tried to be confident for Sam, my entire body sweated and trembled. God, my nerves were fried. What if I did a shitty job at this? What if I failed to turn him on? What if it was so awkward that he wanted nothing to do with sex again? I wanted to be so good for him, but I was fucking clueless. Despite our pathetic attempt at research, it really didn’t explain what it felt like or how would I know if I did a good job or not.

If Sam didn’t like it, that was okay. I’d have to accept his reluctance, but I so wanted this to be good for both of us.

I loved that Sam was honest, telling me exactly what he wanted. It helped push back my feelings of inadequacy and kept me centered on him and his needs. It helped a lot, knowing precisely what he wanted, which was for me to take control, though I had no idea how to really do that.

I hadn’t lied to him when I told him how hot he was with his vulnerable ass in the air, letting me finger him. He was so sexy, and he had a gorgeous ass. I loved how his hole just gobbled up my fingers. And when I hit that spongy spot inside, and he cried out, whimpering for more, my cock leaked all over, throbbing and desperate for more.

As I hovered over my beautiful Sam, his green eyes blown black, his lips swollen from our kiss and arousal, I fell in love with him all over again. Or perhaps I fell more in love with him, though I had no idea how that was possible.

“Are you okay?” I asked for probably the thousandth time, but Sam didn’t seem to mind as he nodded and told me yes.

I sat back on my heels, trying to figure out how to get myself in him. Did I push back his legs? Just find my way in there? Would my dick just know? Fuck, this shouldn’t be so confusing.

I looked down at his ass cheeks with his feet firmly planted on the bed. “Uhm… Hmm. I guess… can you hold your legs back?”

“Yeah.”

Sam slipped his hands under his thighs, pulled his legs to his stomach, and spread them, exposing himself right where I needed to be. Okay, now we were getting somewhere.

I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and situated myself to where I could put my dick in him, hovering over his body. With my clammy and trembling hand, I grabbed my dick and edged the tip toward his hole.

Sam’s eyes grew wide, craning his head to watch my movements. My thundering heart hammered hard against my chest as I tried to push myself in. Sam grunted and winced, so I quickly stopped and looked at him. “I’m so sorry. Did that hurt?”

“Ah, a little.”

“Okay… uhm, I think you’re supposed to loosen your muscles there and push down on me. I believe that’s what we read.”

“Mmhm… yeah. Let me try.” His eyes closed, and his brows furrowed as he tried to concentrate on staying open for me. “Oh, god… what if it always hurts? I don’t want this to…”

“Don’t worry. It’s supposed to sting a little, I think, but just try to relax, baby. If you don’t like it, then you can be inside me. It’s not the end of the world.”

He bit his bottom lip, swallowing up his little lip ring, and nodded.

“Breathe, baby… just breathe and let me in.” Shit, I needed to tell myself that, too, catching myself holding my breath several times.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Biting the tip of my tongue, I eased my tip in. This time, he tried to keep himself loose and not clamp down on me. I slowly inched my way in, careful to check on Sam and ask him questions. It wasn’t exactly spontaneous or sexy, but I was confident once we got past the awkward stage and I was fully in him, it would be better. Gay men did this all the time, so surely sex was enjoyable, right?

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