Page 23 of Pippin & Nacho

“I ate already. That’s all yours.”

“So, you found work?” I ask with my mouth full of fries.

“Yep, I found a decent restaurant that let me wash dishes for a few hours, then they fed me and let me have extra for you. The cook said he respected me for trying to work and not beg.”

Nate pulls off a worn tennis shoe and sock, then hands me a wad of cash. “It’s not tons, but it’s enough to buy food for a couple of days, and I got some quarters so we can wash our clothes. The cook said I can come back and work. They even have a locker room with a shower. Can you believe it? He said the next time I work, I can shower there. When I asked if you could shower, too, he said yes. He was so cool, Sam. We really lucked out.”

“The question is, what do we do now, Sam?” Nate asked, yanking me out of my memory.

He still sat on my lap and felt completely natural there, like he’d always belonged right in this spot.

“I’m afraid,” I admitted.

“Me, too. But what do you want? Tell me. Please.”

“I don’t just want it. I… need you to kiss me again.”

More than I need to breathe.

Nate didn’t hesitate for a second when he plunged his lips to mine, still holding my face. Nate was no longer my one true star, but a fucking galaxy as soon as his mouth pressed to mine.

His fingers dug gently into my cheeks as our mouths explored, keeping my focus entirely on Nate—his soapy and sleepy smell, his soft lips, the scruff on his face, the warmth from his skin. The kiss became fucking everything.

Things were a bit awkward and a little sloppy, with too much saliva, but I didn’t care. His lips also tasted salty from crying earlier. This was my first real kiss, not those kisses that Nate had apparently been stealing. My first and only love finally kissed me. It terrified me because I didn’t know where the road would take us. Yet this moment also freed me with promises for more. Nate belonged right here, like this, with me—my home.

I understood enough about kissing by watching people on TV, but the reality was so different with Nate. I had no idea a kiss affected my entire body, setting me on fire.

When we pulled away, we both panted for air. Nate’s full lips were swollen and glistening, the wetness reflecting the streetlights from the dirty window.

“Fuck… finally,” Nate whispered, his voice cracking. “I’ve spent years fantasizing about my first kiss… our first kiss.”

“I have, too… so many times.”

Nate smiled, gnawing on his bottom lip. “I love you. I want to tell you that all the time now. It’s so fucking… freeing, like I’ve been in prison all my life until now.”

“It’s scary, too.”

He nodded. “It is. You’re not alone in these feelings… but god, I want more now. I’m going to be fucking greedy.”

Now it was my turn to smile, and I chuckled, his words putting me at ease. I knew myself well enough to understand that things wouldn’t always be easy, but hell, I wanted to try to make this work. “I like the sound of that.”

What started as a massively inappropriate moment on my part ended up being the turning point of our friendship. No longer did I have to pine for Sam, wishing and hoping for more with him one day, but I always believed it would never happen and that my wish would always be out of reach. Yet it fucking happened, and that he felt the same way about me filled me with a sense of hope, calmness, and love… even more love than I had before.

But Sam wasn’t wrong. This was scary, too. If something happened between us, forcing us to part, it would be the end of me. Even worse were Sam’s suicidal ideations. That shit absolutely terrified me. I understood the context of his mental health. I knew things were bad, but not by how much. Fuck, I really wish he’d get help. I needed to find a way. Sam’s life depended on it. If I lost him, I wouldn’t be able to move on. A life without Sam wasn’t a life at all.

I lay down on the bed and pulled him down with me. “Stay with me.”

He curled on his side and wrapped his fingers in my curls, always needing to be soothed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I mean, I don’t want to sleep in separate beds anymore. Sleep with me every night. Maybe being here will help keep your nightmares away better.”

“Maybe. I’d… like that. It doesn’t make me look needy?”

“Sam, I asked you, not the other way around. Even if you’d asked, it wouldn’t look needy. We belong together like this. We always have.”

I scooted closer to him as he gripped my hair tighter, pulling my face to his. It was pretty bold for Sam, and I loved it. He was always so tentative and cautious, trying to be careful around others to mask his insecurities and struggles. But he amazed me whenever he pushed through that and showed a glimpse of all the possibilities. Maybe one day, with help.

My leg draped over his thigh, and my arm slung around to his back. I slipped my hand under his T-shirt, touching his warm and smooth skin. We both leaned our faces closer until our lips hovered only a breath away. Sam ended the distance between us and kissed me again.

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