Page 12 of Pippin & Nacho

God, just get me out of here.

My skin crawled from the medical filth. Doctors and nurses had touched me. I stood underneath the hot stream of water to wash it all off. My knee was covered with plastic, so I didn’t get my stitches wet—all eighteen of them. At least they were dissolvable stitches, so I wouldn’t have to go back to that hellscape to have them removed. The wound was worse than I thought. Nate was right that I needed treatment, but he was also wrong. I would’ve had a bad scar and possibly an infection, but who cared?

As soon as the water turned cold, I got out and dried off before removing the plastic. I slipped on my underwear, sweats, T-shirt, and a pullover hoodie. I was cold and shivered from the inside out between the winter, the lack of heat, and the trauma I’d just gone through.

If I never saw a doctor again, it would be too fucking soon.

“Sam?”

Nate’s voice was tentative and guilt-laden. Usually, when I suffered I needed his touch and his curls twining around my fingers, but not today. I needed to curl up and be alone, so I ignored him and headed to my room.

“Sam?”

Now his voice was near panic. I sighed and my eyes watered, but I didn’t turn around to look at him.

“Just… give me a bit, Nate. I need to just lie down for a few hours in my bed.”

“Do you need me to hold you?”

Yes.

No.

I shook my head and closed the door behind me.

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Nate said through my door.

“Give me time. I’ll… be fine.”

I’d never be fine, but I didn't want Nate upset despite my frustration toward him.

I curled up in a ball underneath my blanket and draped it over my head, shivering. My knee ached like fuck and my stitches pulled, but I suffered through it so I could hide in my cave for a little while.

I woke up to warmth and comfort. When my eyes opened, they instantly focused on a sleeping Nate with his long fingers wrapped tightly on my hoodie, as if clinging to me for dear life just in case I suddenly vanished.

My star.

All my disappointment and frustration with him instantly washed away. Nate only did what was best for me. He cared about me and wouldn’t ever hurt me intentionally. He’d made a hard choice today, and for that, I could forgive him.

When my fingers curled around a lock of his soft hair, he opened his eyes, filled again with guilt and worry. “Sorry, I ah…”

“It’s okay.”

“Is it, though?”

“Yes. I was upset, but you were only trying to help. It fucking hurt and freaked me out, but now that I’m home with you holding me, I’m… better.”

My favorite fingers of his pulled away my bangs that had fallen in my face, and he smiled. Every time he touched me, my body thrummed with electricity. I loved it and hated it. I ached for more. It was never enough, but it would have to do.

“Thank you for forgiving me. I was terrified you’d leave or something.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

His smile grew brighter, and he snuggled into me. I wrapped an arm around him as I played with his hair and closed my eyes for more sleep.

The day had fucking wrecked me.

Goosebumps cover my skin as I shiver in the flimsy hospital gown they force us to wear. It’s humiliating. It’s cold. Always cold. The nurses—or at least I think they’re nurses—shaved my head. These nurses are nothing like the ones at the pediatrician’s office with sweet smiles and stickers. The nurses here are cold and mean. They never smile or have stickers.

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