Page 27 of First Time

I could see her.

All of her.

And then maybe I could make a move on Scotlyn.

That’s what I really want and imagine the woman is her. It’s the girl I had a massive crush on in high school, who I could’ve lost my virginity to back then. But no. I was afraid and now I’m here, in a sex club, having sex with a complete stranger.

I lean back, taking her with me and wrap my arms around her while widening my legs. This position allows me to slam into her. I latch onto her neck and thrust my hips as fast as I can until I fill the condom.

TEN

Scotlyn

My heart hurts. Last night’s date with Brent didn’t go as expected at all. I don’t know what came over me. It’s like all of my feelings just exploded all at once. I was in denial, pure and simple. I wanted to believe he was staying in town. Silly me let myself believe it was a possibility.

The ride home from my day job at Ward Enterprises goes by quickly and I arrive at my apartment in record time. I don’t have to work at Society X tonight, but in a way, I wish I was so I can get my mind off Brent. After our failed date, I wonder if he’ll even say goodbye before he goes back to Texas. I really want to see him again, but I don’t want my heart to feel any more pain. I’ve never had such strong feelings for someone in such a short amount of time, but with Brent, it’s different. We grew up together and he’s still the same guy I cared about back then. A part of me believes he was my first love.

I walk up the three flights of stairs to my apartment and breathe a sigh of relief when I get inside.

“I think it’s going to be a Ben and Jerry’s night,” I say as I set my purse down on the kitchen counter. But first, I have to get out of the turtleneck sweater I had no choice in wearing today.

I start toward my bedroom, but then a knock sounds on my door, thunderous and urgent.

“Scotlyn, it’s me! Please, I have to talk to you!”

It’s Brent.

My heart begins to race and the breath hitches in my lungs. He knocks again and I stop at the door, my hand resting on the knob. I want to open it but I can’t.

“Scotlyn, I know you’re in there. I pulled in and saw you walking up the stairs,” Brent says, his voice tired.

Still, I don’t open the door. I don’t want to tell him goodbye and watch him walk away.

He knocks again, only this time it’s very faint.

“Please, Scotlyn . . . I don’t want things to end this way.” A few seconds pass and I can hear his strangled sigh as he breathes out. “I’m falling in love with you.”

The words are barely above a whisper but I hear them.

I open the door so fast it startles him, and he steps back. Our eyes instantly connect, and I can’t seem to look away from him.

“What did you say?”

Brent slowly steps toward me and holds up his hands. I’ve never seen him look so defeated. He looks just as miserable as I feel.

I step back so Brent can come inside.

“I said I’m falling in love with you, Scotlyn,” he repeats. He shuts the door and reaches for me, but I step back.

All of the pent-up sadness in my gut resurfaces. “Brent, why would you even say that? This will never work. My life is here and yours is in Texas.” A tear slides down my cheek and I hastily wipe it away. Brent tries to reach out to me again, but I hold up a hand. “All you’ve done since coming to town is make me want things I can’t have.” More tears flow down my cheeks. “I need you to leave, Brent. The more I see you, the more it angers me. Now go.”

Without even thinking, I turn on my heel and storm to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I rip off my turtleneck and throw it on the floor, revealing the Society X necklace around my neck and something else I was trying to hide.

I don’t want Brent to hear me cry so I bite my lip and stare at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are red. All I want is for the ache in my chest to go away.

I keep waiting to hear my apartment door open and shut but it doesn’t come.

“Brent, leave!” I shout.

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