Page 72 of Rivals

I let go of her and bend to the ground, lifting the documents. Minnesota. Boston. Iowa. Denver. All acceptance letters. And there still on her desk, with the Michigan crest and large, bold print, ACCEPTANCE.

“I thought you weren’t going to send them in?”

“I wasn’t.” She visibly swallows, her eyes filling with tears.

“But you did. Clearly or else they wouldn’t have responded.” I pick up the one from Michigan. “Were you even going to tell me you got this?”

“Reign.” She slides off the desk and reaches her hand out to me. “Can we talk about this?”

I move out of her reach, not because I’m scared I’ll hurt her or I’m afraid of her touch. I do it because if she keeps coming toward me, I’m sure I’m going to do something crazy in order to make sure that she stays with me. Chooses me. Fear and anger twist in my stomach. I know why she did it. I heard everything she said. I thought we fixed it that night. I thought the idea of going farther away from me was done and off the table. At the end of the night, she had softened in my arms and promised me. Things since then have been amazing. We were moving forward; I was making progress at tearing down the walls she had been using to protect herself.

What if she looks at these letters and looks at the schools and they can offer her something I can’t? I’m indebted now to Michigan. I’m signed. I need to fucking think. I need to breathe and get out of here before I say something that will hurt her or make this just about me.

I drop the letters on her desk like my hands are on fire and back out of her room.

“Reign!” She calls my name, her arms folded over her naked chest.

I can’t look at her. I’ll crumble. I’ll stay and try to comfort her, and I can’t yet. I can’t be the guy she needs right now. All I want is to tear up the letters, demand she be with me and never let her up from her bed again. I’ll kidnap her and keep her in my apartment if I have to. I’m pretty sure I could figure out how to get her across state lines with me, but I’d have to probably knock her unconscious and fuck that sounds complicated.

I swipe my jacket off the floor and flee from her apartment. The aching hole in my chest grows bigger with every step away from her I take until the rest of me is just numb. I miss her already. It was stupid to leave, but I could have done worse things if I had stayed.

Riley

He left. In the middle of an argument, Reign left. It wasn’t really an argument. He saw what I hadn’t wanted him to find, my moment of weakness a few weeks ago during a panic attack, and when he asked me why, I couldn’t even answer. All my words jumbled and my brain scrambled. Only when I saw his face shut down did I panic. My heart broke with every step he took out of my dorm and out of the building. I watched him walking for as long as I could, knowing he wasn’t coming back.

I was lost, drowning on my own, remembering the hurt in his eyes. I never wanted to hurt him. I don’t regret that I did what I had to do. I wish I had told Reign why I did it. Because as each of those letters came in, the only one that made my heart race was the one from Michigan. I opened it last. After every other school accepted my application and applauded my athletic and educational achievements, the only one that made me cry, was Michigan. In my heart I knew, but my brain needed the confirmation that there were options. Options I created by myself.

My hands run through my hair, squeezing my head and I collapse on my bed next to my discarded shirt. Damn him. This night had been everything. I was stupid to leave the letters out. I should have told him, and I should have shared my revelation about Michigan. I wanted to, I meant to. But his mouth was distracting, and the state championship needed to be celebrated first. I wanted this night to be perfect.

I can feel the anger rising from my gut to my chest, wrapping around my heart. How dare he leave without fighting about this with me. He gave up so easily that I’m terrified he’s just done trying. I don’t want him to be done. I want him more than my next breath. We’re young and our lives are just starting, but I know I’d hate any distance between us. The thought of missing any of his life moments wrecks me. I want it all. Reign dreamt a future for us and he made me believe in it too.

Scooping up my shirt, I hastily throw it on and race out of my room. My keys were discarded on the table and I snatch those along with my jacket. I have to sneak out because it’s now after hours, but I don’t care. I don’t plan on coming home tonight. I need to find Reign. I need to prove to him that I’m just as crazy and as obsessed as he is.

I run the few blocks over to his off-campus apartment and use the key card he gave me to get in. I never thought I’d actually use it but here we are. After midnight, I’m chasing down my boyfriend. I take the posh elevator up to his floor next. When my feet hit the carpeted hall, I angrily stomp down to his door. On the way over my fear and worry has morphed into fury. How dare he leave? I might have been the only one arguing, but he left before it was resolved. He didn’t even hear me out.

At his door I swipe the card again and the lock flicks. I storm inside and throw the keys and my jacket onto his couch. The living room and kitchen are dark except for the small light above his kitchen sink. I start walking down the hallway where a faint light is coming from his bedroom. My hands ball into fists once I’m standing in his doorway. Reign sits on the edge of his bed, shirtless and in a pair of gray sweatpants, every girl’s kryptonite. His hands are tangled in his messy, ink black hair. His hockey bag lies at the foot of the bed and his desk is stacked with books, neat and precise just like him.

“You left. We were in the middle of discussing something important and you left.”

His head snaps up, his eyes running over me in disbelief. Tears well in my eyes because of the defeat in his.

“You didn’t let me explain. You didn’t let me tell you that I know I promised and that I didn’t mean to. I had a panic attack after dress shopping and before I knew it, I mailed the letters. I thought I would tell you but then the acceptance letters kept coming in. And you know what, Reign, nothing happened.” I walk toward him, farther into the room. His eyes are growing darker, his hands balling into fists on his lap, and long pieces of his hair are hanging in his eyes. I need to touch him.

“I got my acceptance letter from Michigan, and do you want to know what happened? I cried. My whole body shook because I was so happy and so relieved.”

Reign stands up from his bed and moves in front of me. His eyes run all over my body and then to my face where our gazes meet, and I feel myself weakening for him. God, I just want him to touch me. Reign makes me feel like no other person in the world could. He makes me feel loved, cherished, challenged. Sure, along the way he also lied, manipulated me, caused a lot of chaos and destruction, but I was past the point of caring about those things. The end result was him and me.

He reaches out and swipes his thumb under my eyes, collecting the tears there. His skin on mine makes heat rise up my neck and my heartbeat quicken. “You’re so beautiful.”

His words startle me, so far away from what I thought he would say. My cheeks flush. “Thanks.” I say the word uncertainly.

Reign walks past me and shuts his bedroom door before hitting the lock. When he turns to me again, everything about him reads dangerous. His body is rigid, his jaw clenched, and his eyes darkening to sapphire. I take a step back in the room, and the predatory look that crosses his features sends shivers down my spine. Warning signs are blaring in my head and yet all I want to do is reach up and run my fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands against my skin. I want to wrap my arms around him and press my ear to his heartbeat until I feel him relax again.

“I only left because I was worried I might act on the thoughts in my head that were screaming at me to do anything it took to keep you with me,” he murmurs, his hands landing on my shoulders and running down my arms. Our fingertips brush, before he takes the edge of my shirt and lifts it off over my head. “Then you came here, making the worst choice possible, because chances are I probably am going to hurt you.”

My pulse spikes, imagining the ways he could hurt me. The way he could use my body right now. I should be sick, affronted, scared. Except my core clenches and I feel a wave of desire flow through my insides, making my underwear instantly wet.

“I’m not afraid of a little pain, Thorn,” I whisper and his pupils blow out.

---