Page 69 of Dawn of the Pack

Sometimes I just need to feel, without pressure to get better. I asked them to leave me alone unless it’s an emergency and claimed the library for my sanctuary. And they’ve done what I asked. There hasn’t been a single sign of a person even passing in the hallway, let alone opening the door.

My mind drifts back to my mom, and I wonder if she ever did this. If that was the reason we had so many father-daughter outings. Because he knew she was broken in a way he couldn’t fix.

In the way I’m broken, and it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to fix.

Because I’d rather Derrek end up with another mate than dead. No matter how much that idea hurts, imagining him dead is infinitely worse.

And I want to believe that it could get better. That somewhere within me, perhaps within my wolf, is the power to move on. The strength to overcome and be the leader my pack needs.

But right now I’m just an eighteen-year-old girl with far too much weight on her shoulders and a broken, bleeding heart.

The sky outside turned dark ages ago; the fire burned down to embers, and I haven’t moved a muscle. Now that it’s dark everywhere, I rest my chin on my knees and savor it. I’ve made no effort to stoke the fire or flip a light switch. The darkness is safe here, comforting, wrapping me in a cloak of blissful emptiness.

Suddenly, someone interrupts my solitude. The antique doorknob turns squeakily and a slender shaft of golden light shoots across the sitting area, landing on my fuzzy socks. The person hesitates in the doorway, and I have a feeling I know who it is.

“Landon, I’m sorry I’m still not ready. I won’t stay here all night, I promise.”

“It’s not Landon, Lily.” The deep voice of my uncle surprises me, but it makes sense; if anyone were to ignore my one request, it would be him.

Annoyance shoots through me, and I glare at the shadow in the sliver of doorway. “Do we have to do this right now? I don’t have any fight left to give at the moment.”

“I’m not here to give you a hard time. For better or for worse, you decided and went for it. As you should. As I would have done.”

That pulls me up short. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Can we talk, just for a few moments? I can leave the lights off, but I would like to throw some more wood on the fire, if that’s okay. It’s freezing in here.”

Drawing in a deep breath, I release it noisily. “Fine, go ahead.”

He presses the door open further, allowing in more light, and heads straight for the fireplace. It doesn’t take him long to reanimate the blaze; flames lick hungrily up the dry bark and spread quickly across the logs he adds.

Once there’s enough light to see by, he closes the door and only hesitates another moment before sitting lightly on the couch beside me. My gaze remains on the fire.

And then he says nothing.

I didn’t realize how cold I’d become until the heat from the fire washes over my face, and suddenly I’m racked with shivers. Dom stands and fetches a thick quilt, wrapping it around me wordlessly before reclaiming his seat.

When I finally stop shuddering, he draws in a deep breath.

“Lily, I know this is long overdue, but I came here to apologize to you. I’m sorry for several things, but most particularly for treating you like a child when you’ve shown everyone again and again what a fantastic adult you are.”

My throat tightens, and tears collect in my eyes.

“You don’t know a lot about me or your mom when she was here. I know that’s mostly my fault; I should have been here telling you everything you could possibly want to know and more. But I’m here now, and I’m ready, if you’re willing to listen?”

I turn my face slightly toward him and nod, then resume my previous position.

Now that he’s gotten my approval to proceed, he hesitates as if unsure of what to say.

“Well… uh… I guess we should start at the beginning. Your mom was my big sister, and I worshipped her. I mean, I’m sure I was still a bratty little brother plenty of the time, but I always thought she was so smart, and so grown up, and so much cooler than I could ever be.

“And at first I thought it was unfair that she got to be the alpha and not me. What second son in history hasn’t felt that kind of slight? But I soon realized that it meant I had a freedom she could never have. And since I didn’t have a fated mate, I realized pretty quickly that my options were limitless. I could choose to travel, go to another pack, or even leave before I manifested and be a normal guy anywhere in the world that I felt like being. Bora Bora. Australia. Sweden. There were no expectations placed on me at all.

“And most importantly, I knew my sister was unhappy, and I gloated. Because we grew up and—I know it’s stupid now, but remember I was a kid—I knew she was getting all the stuff I’d never have, you know? The house, all the fancy cars, getting to be in charge of everything. When you’re a preteen boy, all that stuff sounds like everything you could want in the world.

“So even though everyone else was shocked when she ran away, I wasn’t, not really. I always knew her in a way no one else did. I saw her change. Maybe she wasn’t trying to fool me, but I caught the way she looked before she plastered on a smile for our parents.

“When everyone was going crazy because she left, trying to figure out where she might have gone, calling everyone, I didn’t bother wondering. I just went back to my room and waited, because I already knew.”

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