And the other part of me swims in a sea of guilt, imagining how my fated would feel if they knew, if they had seen. The tension between all four of them was already thick enough to cut with a knife—what would happen if they knew he’d kissed me? Milo and Landon said Jared is super protective, and even though Derrek has filled out in the last year, he’s nowhere near Jared’s size when it comes to muscle. Plus, Jared has that wolf shifter strength and healing, and Derrek apparently has none of it.
Worrying about what they would do is enough to drive me insane. I don’t want to hurt them. Our feelings for each other grow deeper by the day and I know the connection we share is special—it has been from the first moment I met each of them.
But I can’t deny my past, either. And like it or not, Derrek was there for me when no one else was. He protected me, looked after me, and never so much as laid a hand on me, even though I would have been an easy target. I’m an adult, and even though he’s ten years my senior, he’s not a predator. Despite everything, he’s trying to help me escape this curse that doesn’t affect him at all.
It’s as if the connection we had for all those years has thickened, boiling down to something sweeter, more meaningful, that continues to pull us together. I can’t deny what I feel for him any more than I can deny my connection to my fated.
And I’m hopelessly caught in the middle. I try to keep looking forward instead of dwelling on the past. If I can break this curse, if I can get out from under the oppression of all the good and the bad that Smoky Falls has thrust upon me, perhaps the path forward will become clearer. Maybe if we’re no longer cursed, I won’t need fated mates, and our feelings and desires will change somehow. A painful dart shoots through me at the idea, as if just considering not having all three of my fated is enough to break me. Is it greedy to want them all?
Anxiety floods my body, and I’m filled with nervous energy. I need to get out, to get away. It’s ironic that even here, off of pack lands, I’m surrounded by my fated, both literally and by the expectations they hold for me. There’s no way I can just accept being cursed, being stuck in Smoky Falls for the rest of my life. This has to be the beginning of the end of this curse. It has to be.
My pant legs are damp from palm sweat when we turn off the paved road onto a narrow gravel drive. Trees encroach on all sides, and the sky overhead darkens as the clouds that were distant when we left close in.
An ominous sense of foreboding settles in my chest, making it difficult to draw in breath.
I finally admit to myself that this could be a bad idea. We’re going to visit a witch, a very old and powerful one, according to Derrek, who was the daughter of the witch that cursed my family, my entire pack. None of us have any magic or skills to defend ourselves. We can’t even shift at this hour, thanks to the curse.
A million reasons I’m a terrible leader and this is a bad idea flood my brain, on top of the worry that my fated might get hurt or my trust in Derrek might be misplaced.
No, I trust Derrek, I repeat to myself. If I know nothing else, it’s that Derrek cares about me, and he’s trying to help me.
The car slows to a stop, and Derrek tucks away his phone before turning around in his seat.
“Okay guys, we’re here.”
Chapter Twenty
Milo
I send one last text message before climbing out of the back seat and offering Lex my hand to get down. We’ve stopped at a dead end, where a small, old but clearly loved cottage rests, nestled in the trees.
A narrow front porch runs the length of the building, and a single rocking chair sits near the door. Loads of odd little ornaments decorate the front, wind chimes made from all sorts of natural things like snail shells, twigs, and small stones. Bushes that likely boast colorful blossoms in the spring, but now are little more than brown twigs, line the porch.
I hear nothing but wind rustling the leaves of the trees that seem to lean in protectively over the house. A chill licks up my spine, the feeling of being watched sending goosebumps running over my arms.
A quick glance at the others confirms everyone is just standing here, taking it all in.
I step up to Landon and whisper a quick suggestion, and he obligingly climbs back in the SUV, turning and parking it so it’s off to the side of the small clearing and facing outward, back to the road.
In case we need to make a quick escape.
“So, now what?” Jared’s voice is terse, and he glares at the professor, waiting for an answer.
“Well, I suppose I ought to go up and knock. I haven’t seen her in a long time.” Derrek’s voice is soft, almost reverent, and tinged with nerves.
“Wait, she doesn’t know we’re coming?” Lex’s tone is an octave higher than normal, betraying her emotions as clearly as she can read ours.
“I didn’t exactly have a way to contact her,” Derrek looks down at her upturned face with a fond smile and chuckles. “She doesn’t have a phone. But don’t worry, she’ll remember me.”
Movement to my left catches my attention as Jared steps closer to Lex, his arms crossed and the muscles in his jaw clenching.
I know what’s bothering him, and I see it. There’s something between Lex and the Lit professor; the way they gaze at each other is almost… intimate.
My own jaw clenches. Whatever she needs, I repeat silently to myself. If she needs this guy in her life, it’s my duty to support her. We’re still her fated, and he doesn’t change that.
“Let’s get this show on the road,” Jared breaks the silence, drawing Derrek’s gaze away from our mate. “I don’t want to be standing out here when the storm hits.”
And it’s coming soon. Energy crackles in the air, even though the wind has died down. It’s only a matter of time before the storm blast hits us, followed by a signature Smoky Mountain downpour.