Page 17 of Pack Nightmare

Jared holds my gaze for a long second, then nods, releasing my hand and leaning back in his seat to stare forward once more.

When class finally finishes, he stands and waits for me to pack up my things.

“You go on ahead,” I tell him. “I’m going to have a word with the professor.”

His jaw clenches, the muscle working a few times in rapid succession as he stares at me, then he nods. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later, Layla.”

Hurt rolls off of him in palpable waves, but I can only deal with one person’s emotions right now, and for the time being, that person is me.

“Lex, great to see you again!” Derrek beams when I reach the bottom of the stairs. “What did you think of the lesson? I know you’ve always been an avid reader, so I was excited to have you in this class. Are you looking forward to our open discussion on Friday?”

“Um, yeah,” I mutter, embarrassed. I didn’t pay attention to a word he said today. Hopefully, I didn’t miss anything too important.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something else.”

Derrek settles back on the desk. Today he’s wearing dark jeans with another dress shirt and tie, his sandy blonde curls disheveled as if he’s been running his fingers through them. I suddenly remember him running a hand over his shaved head a lot when we were on the street. “Sure, go ahead.”

My mouth is a desert. I glance around, waiting for the last straggling student to leave the classroom before I clear my throat to speak. “Um, I know we kind of talked about it on Monday, but there’s something else I need to tell you. About LA.”

Discomfort darkens his green eyes, and he shifts slightly. “Okay, I’m listening.”

I wipe sweaty palms on my jeans; my heart is racing, and I’m trying to remember why I thought it was a good idea to confess these feelings I’ve kept locked away for so long. My eyes drop to the ground as I gather my courage.

“Um, well, I was really upset that I never saw you again after the attack.”

“I know, Lex, I’m sorry. Like I said, I-”

“No, let me finish. I know you didn’t realize I was there. And I don’t blame you for it, but I was really hurt, even more than I realized.” My heart beats like a frightened bird trying to escape a cage, but I draw in a deep breath and lift my head, gazing straight into his sympathetic green eyes. “I trusted you, more than I knew at the time. I trusted you like family, and then I just… never saw you again. After my parents, I thought I was alone in the world, and losing you felt like that happened all over again. Sure, my uncle appeared out of nowhere, and now we’re here and I have all of this,” I gesture around, trying to wordlessly indicate Smoky Falls and everyone in it.

“But I never got over it, and I sort of feel like something in me broke; feeling like I lost you, the one person I thought I could trust after I lost everything I’d ever had. And you can’t imagine the guilt I felt, wanting to go back and see everyone and not being able to convince my feet to move. Now I understand it was compulsion and I can almost forgive myself for it. I didn’t know what was happening and I couldn’t help it.

“But I can’t forgive you for showing up here and acting like none of that ever happened. You had a way to get ahold of me, a contact. You could have tried harder, and knowing that you didn’t so much as try hurts more than any of it,” the last part comes out in a whisper, and I draw in a shaky breath to hold in the threatening sobs; I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. “So I guess that’s it,” I sniff. “I needed to say it, to get it out of me and hope it helps me to let it go. I don’t expect you to do anything about it, not that there’s anything you can do. But I wanted you to know.”

Derrek has frozen completely with his gaze locked on my face, and I question if he’s even breathing.

Then, in one swift move, he pushes off the desk and wraps me into a hug, pulling me into his hard body and squeezing tightly. Warmth spreads through me, heat from his body near mine, but also emotion welling inside my chest. I bite my lip to keep the tears at bay. I draw in another shaky breath, his smoky bourbon scent filling my senses, and I notice something else: a faint electric tingle coursing over my skin.

“Lex,” he breathes into my hair, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were safe, that you were finally loved and happy and didn’t need me anymore. If I’d have thought for a second that you needed me, nothing would have stopped me from reaching you.”

The emotion I was desperately holding back overflows the banks of my heart and I sob heavily, squeezing my face against his chest. This is what I needed, what I came looking for without realizing it. To know that I mattered just as much to him as he had mattered, still matters, to me.

Derrek’s arms tighten around me, and he presses a cheek to the crown of my head. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, Lex. If you need me, if you want me, I’ll never leave.”

The relief that flows through my heart at those words is indescribable. I draw in a deep, shuddering breath, then sigh, releasing the pain that has dragged me down for over a year. The nebulous implication of those words tingles at the edge of my mind, wondering if he means them with any more significance than just as a friend.

I wonder if I want them to mean more.

Then an angry voice interrupts the moment and sends us jumping apart. My senses reach out instinctively, picking up three bright balls of emotion just steps away.

“Get your paws off our mate.”

Chapter Ten

Layla

“Guys, what are you doing here?” Even though I’m technically doing nothing wrong, my voice sounds distinctly guilty. Some part of me knows that, innocent or not, this looks bad and they have a valid reason to be upset.

My gaze travels between three very different expressions, my eyes darting back and forth nervously in the heavy silence.