Page 37 of Forced Pregnant Mate

“Tara’s just an old girlfriend, okay, nothing serious. I’m sorry I let that go on, I was just telling her I wasn’t interested.”

Lena glares at me. “You looked pretty interested to me. She was all over you.”

“I didn’t expect her to hit on me! It’s been years since we had our fling. I don’t know why she came on to me all of a sudden like this.”

“Sounds like you’re just trying to cover your tracks,” Lena says, crossing her arms. “You’ve been screwing her the whole time, now you just want to keep getting away with it and do your duty to the pack at the same time!”

“Lena…” Her name leaves my lips with the soft reverence of a prayer. There is still so much to unpack about what happened between me and her father, and the pack politics, but I’m suddenly realizing where the heart of the problem lies.

“Lena,” I whisper again, stepping up closer to her to put my hand on her arm. “Do you… do you think I don’t want you?”

She looks up at me, and her eyes are so full of tears I can’t read them. Her face is pale, her lips tight. Suddenly, I see a girl who’s been rejected and emotionally abused every day of her life. A girl who believes she’s unlovable, undesirable, and completely inadequate.

She shakes her head and looks away.

“My love,” I say softly, coming around in front of her. She won’t look up, so I sink down to my knees so I can see her face.

“I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you,” I say firmly. “Even a year ago, at the party, I wanted you so much, I…”

Now I have to look away. Lena bends over and takes my hand, urging me to look up at her again.

“Yes?” she asks. I shake my head and look into her eyes, praying she can read the truth there.

“I had a fight with your father. When I told Bailey, he said he and Decker would handle it. That I should stay away. Even though I should have advised against the alliance after knowing what your father was doing, I couldn’t say anything like that because it would mean never seeing you again. I assumed that Bailey and Decker handled it, and your father was reprimanded or punished—I don’t know. I left it up to them, just as I was told to.”

Lena’s eyes have softened, but her mouth is still a hard line. She squeezes my hand, just once.

“I came looking for you at the party because I couldn’t leave it like that. I wanted to fight for you. But then when you told me you had never been with anyone before… I got scared.”

I look away for a second, shaking my head. It’s hard, but I have to admit this. I have to tell the whole truth.

“I got scared because if I was your first… and your only, then it would be a sacred bond between us. I wasn’t sure I could honor it. Everything seemed so complicated. I decided that I had to just leave you alone completely. It was the only way to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” she asks, her voice almost a whisper.

“From me,” I whisper, looking away. “The reason why I couldn’t do it… is because I want you so fucking much, I can’t control myself. I want you too much… you’re the only one I do want…”

I let go of her and sit down, putting my head in my hands. Lena gets down on her knees and grabs my wrists, pulling my hands away so she can see my face.

“I’m so sorry I made you feel like you’re not enough,” I say, looking into her eyes. “I’m so sorry I made you feel unwanted. You are a beautiful, precious, untouched flower… and I was afraid to be the one that hurt you.”

“Jack,” she whispers, brushing my hair back from my forehead. “My poor, sweet Jack. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shake my head, struggling with my emotions. “I wanted to protect you… from everything. I thought if I stayed away, your life would be better. The alliance would be strong, your father would be kept in line. And just look at everything—I wasn’t wrong. It’s fucked, it’s all fucked.”

She smiles, brushing my cheek with her fingers.

“But we’re together. That’s all that counts.”

I nod, weakly. I’m praying beyond all hope that this confession is enough, that she’ll forgive me, and we can move forward from here on even terms.

“Have you been suffering, sweet Jack?” she asks. I shake my head.

“What?”

“Have you been wanting me? Do you want me so much that it hurts?”

I nod, gripping her hands. “Yes. Fuck, yes, Lena. I want you so much I can’t stand it. It’s like being on fire, endlessly tortured, but never wanting it to stop.”

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