“I left before too much damage could be done. I told Bailey straight away. He said he took it up with Decker, but I don’t have any information on that.”

Jack pauses and looks at me, his crystal blue eyes intense and focused.

“Bailey ordered me to stay away from the family—from you,” he says. “I didn’t think I could do it, so I went looking for you at the party, but then I realized I’d be pulling you into the conflict as well as disobeying my alpha… I… I’m sorry.” He shrugs, looking away. “I don’t know what else to say, Lena, except that I’m so, so sorry.”

I can’t seem to draw in a deep enough breath. My skin feels cold even as my blood runs hot. This information has shocked me to the core, and I don’t know which part of it bothers me more.

That Father’s a dirty rat and always has been? That Bailey is essentially the reason Jack stayed away from me?

Or that Jack let this keep us apart and chose not to tell me?

Chapter 14 - Jack

After I confess to Lena, I can’t stay sitting at the table with her. I still haven’t told her everything, and I don’t even know how to.

I came home early, hoping to have dinner with her and get even closer after our encounter at work a few days ago, maybe even encourage her into those feelings a little more. Now she feels even more distant to me, as if that moment of extreme intimacy never even happened.

I head for the shower, trying to unwind after work and the uncomfortable scene that was waiting for me when I got home. After I’ve calmed down a bit and gotten changed, I head back to the kitchen, hoping to talk, but Lena isn’t there.

When I realize that she’s in the bedroom with the door closed, I head back to the couch, feeling rejected. I know we need to talk about this, but I want to respect her space as well, so there’s no way I’m going to knock on that door.

Coward.

I’m well-aware of the fact that I don’t want to reveal everything. I had good reasons for staying away from her before the party, but the main reason I decided to leave her alone was that finding out she was a virgin utterly shocked me.

I sit down on the couch with a cold beer and watch some football, the players running mindlessly across the screen. I can’t focus on anything except the huge mess of emotions inside me, as well as the knowledge that Lena is carrying an even bigger mess.

I have no idea how she feels about what happened between me and her father. Is she angry with me that I beat him up? He’s definitely not a model parent, but I know these relationships are exceptionally complicated. No matter how abusive he is, I’m sure she still loves him and feels some loyalty towards him.,

Did she know he was dealing illegal weapons?

She didn’t confirm or deny this. The idea of her being involved in crime literally makes me sick. Her innocence and integrity are a huge part of what I love about her. I can’t stand to think she’s been faking it.

The question sticks in my mind like a prickly burr, making me feel like my skin is itching on the inside. I want to rush down the hallway and bang on the door, demand that she answer me—

But then I’d have to admit I rejected her for the very things that make her special—her innocence and purity.

I groan softly, finishing the beer and starting a new one. Bailey told me to stay away from the family, to not mess around with Peter again for the sake of the alliance. I intended to obey him, but he didn’t know how I felt about Lena.

I went to her at the party to find out how deep my feelings truly ran. If she was worth it, then I’d tell Bailey. If she only wanted me as much as I wanted her… then it would all be worth the risk.

And I was ready to take it, until she told me she was a virgin.

I could not—still cannot—make a sacred bond with her like that if there is any chance I could betray it. I realize that rejecting her has only dug me into my own grave twice as deep, and if the arranged marriage hadn’t happened, I might run from it for the rest of my life.

But it did happen.

The separate threads of this sticky web are too much for me, and after a few more beers, I end up passing out on the couch. I wake up mid-morning, and Lena greets me as if everything is fine. I foolishly begin to think we might not have to talk about it.

Luckily for both of us, Jenks has a party tonight that we were planning on going to. We manage to get through the day with light conversation and head out late in the afternoon without talking much.

Jenks has the party cranking already, even though the sun is only just at the horizon. Music throbs through the old timber house, the scent of frying meat saturates the air, and laughter rings out through every window.

I’m looking forward to relaxing with Lena and having a good time for once, but Gina hurries out of the house and pounces on Lena the second we get out of the truck.

“Come on, I want to introduce you to the girls!” Gina says. “I want you to feel welcome in the pack. We’re all here for you, anytime you need us.”

Lena smiles shyly, letting Gina take her away. I watch them go, heading out to the back deck to find some steak and hopefully a lot more beer. I’ve settled myself in a deck chair with a huge rack of ribs and a six-pack when my old girlfriend Tara comes striding along the edge of the pool.