Page 29 of The Marriage Bargain

I don’t think that’s all it is, nagged an insistent little voice. Yeah, you’ve never been overrun with men before, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t attracted to you.

Remembering how he’d acted the night he’d spent in Zyn and Tarra’s house with me, I was forced to admit that, yes, he really might be attracted to me. After all, he truly could have picked any number of dozens of human women to be his wife if that’s all he needed. He didn’t have to choose me.

The knowledge that he’d chosen me because he wanted to; the realization that he probably was physically attracted to me; and that tonight was going to be our wedding night…well, that sent more spirals of mingled panic and excitement through my body.

In fact, I’d been so lost in the mental reckoning that I’d zoned out and didn’t even realize Caide was speaking to me.

“Huh, what?” I said aloud, stumbling and flinging out a hand to catch myself. Of course, the hand went to the nearest object, which happened to be him. He paused and I snatched it back, like my fingers had been on fire. I was tempted to rub them off on my jeans, but that would have made me look even more foolish.

Facing me, the Overlord raised his brows. “Are you well?”

“Me? Sure. I’m great! I’m about to get married and move in with somebody I don’t even know tomorrow. I’m great. Fantastic.”

“You do not sound fantastic.”

“I don’t?”

He examined my face. Quietly, gently, he said, “I know fear, Delle. I have seen it. Lived it. If you are that afraid of me, you needn’t—”

“I’m not afraid,” I blurted out, shocking myself. “I’m not. Not of you, anyway. It’s just—all of this is such a huge change, you know? It’s big. Like…really big. I don’t do crazy things. Ever. I work in an eatery for a living and I change diapers for a place to stay. I don’t travel to different planets like you to establish a new life for myself. I barely date. Haven’t dated in, like, a year. So, yeah, for me to decide to marry you and pack up and move? It’s…huge,” I finished lamely.

“It isn’t real,” he reminded me.

“I know,” I said. “I know. But it’s still a big deal.”

“Yes. It is. But it would be an even bigger deal, as you humans say, if you were to be chosen by a different Asterion who wanted you for the sole purpose of producing offspring, wouldn’t it?”

“That does put things in perspective,” I muttered, a bit grouchily.

For his part, Caide had withstood my outburst pretty well. By that I mean he didn’t seem shocked or annoyed. Instead, he actually picked up my hand, wrapped his around it, and squeezed my fingers reassuringly.

“It will be well. It will. We are doing this for ourselves, Delle. Forging our own path without the interference of my fellow Asterions for you, or my father for me. You say your life isn’t crazy? Perhaps it is time to take a risk and do something crazy. Who knows where the leap might land you?”

Who knows indeed? I thought, peering up at him through my glasses. The evening light had all but faded, and his silvery skin blended in with the shadows. We were on a park trail, surrounded by bare limbs and trees. Maybe I should have been nervous. All of the sudden, I wasn’t, though. I was okay. Because this Asterion Overlord was gazing down at me with golden eyes that gleamed cheerfully in the darkness. Golden, very non-human eyes, that seemed to promise everything would be okay, if I only took this proverbial leap with him. I knew this unspoken promise was a dumb thing to put my trust in—even my momentary trust—but for the moment I allowed my heaving emotions to subside and find comfort in that.

For the moment.

CHAPTER 17

CAIDE

When I took her hand to try and reassure her, she didn’t draw back. She didn’t argue with the words I spoke to comfort her either. I’d seen glimpses of this woman’s fighting spirit. I knew she was no pushover—a term I’d learned from my human workers. She was frightened of the situation we faced. What she didn’t know, what I hoped I wasn’t showing, was that I was frightened too. Not of our situation, but of my reaction to it. There was one thing that terrified me about our marriage bargain, and that was the stipulation she’d introduced: no falling in love.

Perhaps I was not well acquainted with love, but I knew enough to know my feelings towards this human woman were quite different from any feelings I’d had in the past towards other females. She was going to marry me. She was going to be my wife.

Could she also possibly be my mate?

In Asterion culture, a mate carried even stronger significance than a wife. A wife you were supposed to be faithful to and not put away. Marriage did not end. Unfortunately, some Asterions did not regard marriage with the sanctity it was meant to have. My father, for instance. If my father had valued his wife as he should, I would not be alive. Clearly, although marriage was meant to be high and holy, some Asterions did not regard it as such.

A mate, on the other hand. A mate had nothing to do with vows or sanctity. A mate was bonded to you out of pure love. The highest, purest form of love. A love that deepened as time went on. A love that did not die. A love that went on after death, binding the essences of the mates together for eternity, even after their physical bodies were deceased.

A true mate was rare. My father had never claimed his wife as his mate, or my mother either, for that matter. In fact, out of all the Asterions I knew, only a few were truly mated. And for those that were—the mate bond was evident. They clearly had no interest in any other partner. There was no unfaithfulness, ever, among mated couples.

As I trooped back down the hill with Delle, the human woman I’d bargained to marry, I wondered if a mate-bond between an Asterion and a human was possible. And, if it were, could it be possible for Delle and I? True, she intrigued me as no other female ever had. Also true, if she had been amendable, the strength of my desire was such, that I could have taken her right then and there in the chilly park. I would gladly have kept us both warm.

The mere notion made my body increasingly uncomfortable. My breathing became shallower. I had to clear my mind of enticing mental images.

The practical side of me was fully aware that attraction and intrigue did not necessarily equate to a true mate-bond. However, given enough time?

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