Page 82 of Beyond Reason

“Axel—”

“No!” I slammed his arms against the wall and pressed my body to his. “I wanted to tell you before, Xavier. I couldn’t, and you can’t leave now that you know.”

At least he waited until I got the words out before he jerked forward, yanking his wrist and shifting enough to thread his fingers through mine. The sensation left me open for a moment, and that moment was enough for him to use his grip to twist us, to push me until my back was against the wall and he could jerk his other arm free.

When his fist collided with my jaw, it rocked enough shock through me that I swallowed the rest of my apology.

“Fuck, Axel. It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?” he said. But he wasn’t trying to pull away. He pressed forward, sliding his knee between my legs and pinning me more effectively than I had him. When he raised his hand, I half expected him to hit me again—instead, his fingers slid along the same spot he’d just punched, his thumb wiping away the small trickle of blood spilling from my split lip. “This is who we are, what we are. I manipulated you, and you asked me to marry you. Maybe it was a little insensitive for me to take a job right after, and maybe you should have realized what kind of man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.”

Fuck. He remembered all of it.

He lifted his other hand, opening three fingers so the pendant fell down between us in a swinging motion. I hadn’t gotten him a ring because he said he hated the feeling of gloves, of anything on his hands. The necklace seemed like a good compromise.

I’d asked him to marry me, and he’d gone right back to work… and he was probably right—I should have known better than to ask him to change. I should have told him I was just afraid of him getting hurt, afraid of losing him when I’d only just finally felt like he was mine.

“I didn’t mean it.” My vision stung with tears. “I didn’t fucking mean a goddamn word of it, Xavier. I didn’t want you to go.”

“I know that, Sunshine.” He dropped his hand down, pressing the metal between our palms. “I knew it then, too. I figured I’d come back and we could argue about it until you gave in and we had makeup sex.” Xavier smiled, but his eyes flicked back to the spot on the floor for just a second, like he was playing the memory in his head all over again. “We fight, and we fuck. We make up and we love each other. Do you think I give a shit about what you said to me before I died? Do you think that’s enough to make me leave?”

“I—”

“Why don’t you have more faith in how stubborn I am, you ass. You’re mine.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the corner of my bloody mouth. “You don’t get out of it just because you fucked up.”

“I hurt you.” The memory still burned. “I cut you, and that mark is on your skin right along with the bullet wounds. I was always afraid it was my fault, that—”

“I lost the necklace, Axel.” He cut me off again, going up on tiptoe to press another kiss to my lips to quiet me. “I went back into the building because I realized the necklace was gone. I wasn’t going to leave it behind when you spent so much time picking it out.” He squeezed our fingers together so tight I felt a sting of pain where the metal bit into my skin. “I wasn’t thinking straight, and I didn’t secure the rooms. I was just thinking of you, of how much I loved you… how much I wanted to marry you, to be with you, to make you apologize for being an ass because I love the way you beg.”

Oh… shit.

Shit.

“It wasn’t worth dying over. I could have… I could…”

Tears streaked hot down my cheeks, and he wiped them away gently. “We both could have done things differently, but it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault. I died because your dad wanted to prove a point, and I came back because there’s no world that exists where I’m not with you. I came back because you waited for me. Our love is stronger than fate, stronger than time. I’m here because this is the only place I could ever be.”

“Xavier… fuck.” I lifted the necklace and noticed he’d already twisted the chain back together from where he’d snapped it. It felt natural to slip it back over his head—felt right to smooth his curls gently from his face with a soft smile. “You know, I couldn’t ask you before, since you didn’t remember, but I can ask you now. If you still wanted to—”

“Shoot on sight, but aim for non-lethal.”

We both heard the voice at the same time, but I was just a little faster. Maybe it was because I was a little more desperate. Maybe it was because my hands were already at his neck. Whatever it was, it gave me the chance to spin him so I could slide my arm around his throat.

“I love you. I know you’re going to be pissed, and I know you might question if I’m telling you the truth, but I love you. I can’t see you dead here, not again.”

Non-lethal.

They’d still shoot him.

Xavier full of bullet holes, laying broken and bleeding on the ground.

No. Not again. Panic seized through me, but this time it didn’t freeze me—it put my body into motion.

He might have tried to say something, but he went limp in my arms as I squeezed tighter, and the dead weight of him nearly sent us both toppling to the ground. I only just managed to get him pushed out of sight into a closet and lock the door when the men rounded the corner, and I instantly threw my hands up with a charming smile. My instincts had been right, they both had guns, and we didn’t.

“Looking for something, boys?”

I didn’t have time.

There wasn’t enough time.

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