Page 73 of Beyond Reason

“I never thanked you, you know.” It came out as a soft whisper. Maybe I was trying to change the subject, but it was still the truth.

“Why would you thank me?”

“You didn’t have to come back to my house. You could have just left, and I would have never known the difference.” Knowing that he’d been there when Xavier had died, that at least he hadn’t been alone, had been a small comfort. It took me a while to realize it—after I’d tried to kill Kade for letting him die.

“Xavier was one of the best. I didn’t like him, but I could respect that much. Besides, I figured if you ever got over thinking it was my fault, you’d owe me a favor.”

I stared at him, my brows knit together. For just a moment, he’d almost sounded like a normal human… then he’d chalked it up to a thing that he did because it might benefit him in the future.

I was never going to get a read on Kade. His death and reincarnation obviously did nothing to change that.

“Still. Thank you.”

He was silent for a moment before lifting one shoulder in a shrug.

That was probably the best I was going to get.

When Xavier’s laughter drew both of our attention, Kade frowned. It was probably because he was leaning close to Seth and they were talking in hushed tones.

“You know, on second thought, you don’t have to tell him how he died. I’ll remind him myself.”

Kade actually started to move, and I threw my hand out. “I’ll handle it.”

I made my way across the room and slid my arm around Xavier’s waist before the psychopath in the corner decided to change his mind.

“Axel, what are you doing?”

I ignored the question. “Seth, you might want to handle him before he does something we’ll all regret.”

Seth’s eyes drifted over my shoulder to Kade, and the expression that blossomed across his features was so out of place. He was too innocent to be in love with a psychopath, and he was certainly too good to be making goo-goo eyes at someone who’d just threatened to kill the man in my arms… but it wasn’t my business.

My business was getting Xavier out of the room before Kade decided to spill what he knew about that last night out of spite. He had no idea what it would do to Xavier, and I still wasn’t sure I was ready to handle how he might react to the memories that came before it.

Just the thought of him leaving again made my entire body tense, and the burn of desperation that tore through me was nearly a physical pain. I dragged him back to the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind us—maybe this wasn’t just about getting him away from Kade before Kade ruined everything.

Maybe this was simply the fact that I needed him. I needed to feel steady, to feel solid.

I needed to feel like nothing could come between us.

Kade being here was a constant reminder of that night. Remembering what had happened. Remembering how it felt to lose the only person I’d ever wanted.

“Axel,” he half laughed, half groaned when I leaned down and brushed my lips against his neck. All this time, he’d been touching me, breaking me, remaking me. I wanted… no, I needed to return the favor.

I needed him.

“Lay on the bed for me, please?” I couldn’t turn my voice into a command like he did, but the sound of the word please coming from my lips seemed to shoot straight through him the same way. He shivered in my arms before turning toward the bed.

“What’s gotten into you, hm?”

I could have told him the truth, but I couldn’t wrap my tongue around the words. Instead, I pushed him back gently until he laid against the sheet, then followed him. “I didn’t realize how much I wouldn’t like sharing my time with you.” At least it wasn’t a lie. If we could have stayed at the lake house forever, isolated from the rest of the world, I would have done it.

If I could keep him locked in this room until the stars burned out and we were swallowed by the sun, I would have died happily in his arms.

“You’re greedy.” He didn’t sound angry about it. As much as I said I didn’t like sharing my time with him, it was nice to see him smiling. It was nice to see other people seeing him—it somehow made him feel more solid, more real.

It made me feel like I wasn’t just wrapped up in the only dream I never wanted to wake from.

“Just when it comes to you.” I slid my hands beneath his shirt and relished in his smooth skin, so warm and real and alive. “Can I touch you?”

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