Page 51 of Beyond Reason

If some small part of me knew this wasn't just about Alieen, that it was about those dreams of Marshall, and Axel's pale face when I woke, I wasn't going to say it aloud.

I followed him into the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe as he stripped. Watching him pull the clothing from his body with hands that shook was more satisfying than I wanted to admit—the shirt hadn’t protected him from my little temper tantrum, though. There was blood splattered on his jawline, along his neck. It dusted against his chest in little bursts that had soaked through the fabric and left swirling patterns that made shapes like clouds.

“Go on. Get in.” My voice was still hard when he turned to look at me, nude and vulnerable and so fucking pretty covered in the evidence of what I’d done for him—what I’d done because he was mine, and the thought of anyone touching him made me want to tear the world apart. It didn’t matter what had happened while I was gone. I couldn’t blame him for finding comfort then.

But I would burn anyone who even looked at him now.

I waited until he turned the water on and the room started to steam before unzipping my pants. I was slow and meticulous, and my eyes flicked up and down his frame. “Start washing yourself Axel, but keep your eyes on me. Do a good job, hm?”

He was still shivering, even though the steam was making my skin feel sticky with sweat.

He looked so good, and he was so damn responsive to something as simple as my voice. Even now. This was another level of us that I’d missed, that I’d craved. Blood splatter and obedience.

I took a few minutes to enjoy watching him run a washcloth along his body, sending the crimson I’d painted him with washing down the drain in rivulets of pink. When he’d scrubbed the last of it from his neck, I pulled my shirt over my head, and he froze.

I knew instantly that he wasn’t admiring my nude body—his eyes were fixated on my chest.

No, his eyes were staring at the red splotches of my birthmarks with a growing sense of agony that I didn’t want to see.

Not here.

Not now.

I didn’t want to remember.

“Axel?”

“That’s where you…” his voice trailed off, and the pain spiking across his features was so palpable it nearly tore me apart. I knew seeing me shirtless would probably always make him think about that moment. That was the last thing I wanted him to think of right now.

I stepped beneath the water and cupped his face, bringing his gaze up to meet mine.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m here now.”

“But I—”

“No,” I cut him off. “Think about me… about the way I’m here with you now. The way I’m going to take you apart.” I wasn’t sure if my words got his attention, or if it was my hand snaking around his waist to slide along the globes of his ass. I trailed my fingers between his cheeks and teased at his hole, putting the slightest bit of pressure against it until he shuddered and his eyes slid shut again.

That was better.

No fucking birthmarks.

No death—no being apart. No time or space where he’d had to find comfort without me.

It was just us. It was always going to be just us.

One hand went flat against his chest, and I pushed him back against the heating tile of the shower wall.

“Do you know what I’m going to do to you, Axel?” I kept my voice soft and husky while I continued to play, drifting my finger up and down, teasing at his entrance with just enough pressure that I could feel his body tense, begging for more. “I’m going to make sure that you’re nice and clean, then I’m going to take you back to your room. You’re going to lie still for me when we’re there…” I had to lift up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, but it was worth it to feel him shudder when I nipped at his earlobe.

“Mmfn.” Fuck, I loved the way he seemed to dissolve whenever I talked dirty to him, the way coherency seemed to leave his body.

“You’re going to be good for me while I fuck you with my tongue,” I licked the shell of his ear. “With my fingers…” I pressed against his ass again and he groaned. “While I fuck you open until you’re begging for it, begging for me. I want to make you cry, Axel. I want to kiss the tears from your lashes and make you come on my cock so you know exactly who you belong to, do you understand?”

“Yes,” he answered instantly, and his hands spasmed on the wall. He was already being so fucking good—he wasn’t touching me without asking.

“Good. Now…” I stepped back and took the washcloth, running it across my body in thorough, quick movements. Since I’d just killed someone, I needed to make sure we were both clean before we did anything else. It was still a treat to watch him watching me as I soaped up and rinsed off. When I flung the cloth at him, he jerked like he was coming out of a daze.

“Xavier?”

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