Page 42 of Beyond Reason

“Mmfm.” I only just managed to swallow down the words trying to bubble from my throat. I was already on the edge of begging, and he’d barely started touching me. But no, that wasn’t what he wanted.

That wasn’t how we did this. And I wanted to give him exactly what he desired, everything he could ask for.

I wanted to be good for him.

“I can feel you trembling, Axel.” He pulled off of my cock long enough to speak, but the heat of his breath playing against my saliva-slick skin was almost as enticing as the hot pressure of his mouth around me. Xavier drove me crazy with nothing more than words—he could murmur filth in my ear for hours and have me ready to dissolve from syllables alone. He seemed to revel in it now, and I wondered if this was exactly what he wanted, to see that he could still make me react like this.

I wanted to tell him that he was the only one who could, that he was the only one who ever had, but I couldn’t get the words out. I couldn’t get my mind to work around anything other than the feel of him so close to me. Real and here—everything I’d been so sure I’d lost forever. But he was here now, and I couldn’t seem to control it when my hips arched upward, my body begging in the way my lips seemed incapable of managing.

“Axel.” He was so soft, so teasing as he said my name, but somewhere beneath it, I could see that his eyes were burning.

Do you still see me?

He’d asked it, and the words had poured from him with so much longing, so much need that he didn’t have to say anything at all.

“Please?” I whispered it, finally managing to carve the words from my lungs so I could give them to him. “Please, don’t stop touching me.” Now that I was speaking, I couldn’t stop. Now that I’d started, I wanted to give him everything he was asking for. “Please, Xavier. I need you.”

Just you.

Only you.

Always you.

I didn’t say the rest of it, but apparently I didn’t have to. His eyes lit, and he nodded before lowering his head and swallowing my cock down again.

I wanted more—I wanted to roll over and completely offer myself to him, but… he’d been through so much. He’d gotten hurt. Again.

I could wait. I could be patient. Especially when I knew I was done trying to resist him, that I didn’t have it left in me to pull away.

That I would let him have me any time he wanted, however he wanted—however he needed, if it let him know that he was the only thing I could see.

He drew me to the back of his throat and swallowed around me, and my body jolted again. I had to fist the sheets, had to force myself to draw in a deep, even breath just to keep myself together.

Xavier worked at a slow pace, so painfully slow I felt dizzy. I could barely breathe around my want, could barely think when he pulled off and grazed his teeth along my thigh, blowing gentle breaths against my skin until I backed away from the edge of orgasm.

The second I calmed, his mouth came right back, his tongue flattening to glide against the vein that ran the underside of my cock.

“Mm, fuck. Please, I—”

One hand slid up, and his fingers wrapped around my balls, the slightest bit of pressure forcing me to swallow my words and back down from the edge again. He knew what he was doing—he knew exactly what he was doing.

And apparently being gone for twenty-two years hadn’t made him forget every way to play my body like I was nothing more than an instrument and he was a goddamn maestro conducting a symphony.

“Let me…” I gasped. Let me what? Let me come? Let me breathe. “Let me touch you… mmf… let me make you feel good, too.”

As dizzy as I was, his smile was still so perfect I nearly melted. “I’ll worry about me. Focus, Axel. Tell me how it feels.”

I wasn’t sure if I could, but I opened my mouth and started to speak anyway. “Warm, hot… mmfuck. Like Heaven—like everything I’ve dreamed of and everything I’ve missed. You’re… so fucking perfect.” The last few words came out more moan than anything, but it seemed to be exactly what he wanted. I was vaguely aware of his arm spilling from my hip and snaking down the length of his body, the jerk of his shoulder and the desperate way he swallowed me down so deep I felt like he wanted to turn me inside out.

“So hot,” I whispered, because I could barely catch my breath to do much else. “So fucking hot and tight—you make me feel so good. I want to be good, please?”

Xavier groaned again, and his body stiffened. For just a second, I was lost in the feel of him losing himself around my cock—he’d lost his rhythm completely. He was just mouthing at me with tongue and the slightest nip of teeth.

Then he shifted, rising up enough to drift his hand between my legs. The feel of his cum-slicked fingers gliding between my cheeks and teasing at the pucker of my hole was too much.

It was too much.

I wanted so much.

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