Page 35 of Beyond Reason

Since I didn’t want to draw attention, I wrapped one hand around his throat and cut off his airway. The hands holding Xavier went slack, and his limp body fell.

Limp body.

Limp and unmoving, and my entire world seemed to narrow down to a slash of red when I threw the man off of him and followed him down to the ground.

“What did you fucking do?” I snarled, and I could hear the shake in my voice. The low growl that felt like it was tearing out of my chest like some wild, violent thing. It was nearly impossible to let up on his throat so he could answer me.

This wasn’t the life I normally lived, but I could remember feeling like this before.

I could remember feeling like this after spending months tracking down exactly what had happened to Xavier, exactly who had killed him. I’d seen red then, too.

I’d seen red, and I’d spent a week taking out my frustrations to make sure I knew the name of every person involved.

And even then, it hadn’t been enough.

Killing hadn’t felt good.

It hadn’t fixed anything.

I’d been just as broken.

“My job. Just my fucking job.” He was trying to sound tough, but I could see the terror in his eyes. People didn’t usually look at me like that.

Then again, I didn’t usually have a knife stuck in their guts. I gave it a little twist as I adjusted myself so one knee fully pressed against the asshole’s hand. It was the one that had held his gun.

The one that he’d obviously hit Xavier with.

“Who sent you?”

Even as I asked, his eyes twisted back to Xavier, and he tried to grab the weapon on the ground beside him.

Logically, I knew I should have restrained him. Should have taken him back to the house and slowly extracted information from him.

I twisted the knife again and he screamed, but his eyes stayed stuck to Xavier’s frame. “He whined like a little bitch, you know?” His mouth twitched, lips pressing together before he took a shaky breath. “Ax. Is that you? He was saying your name.”

He’d said my name. I’d wondered a thousand times if he’d said it when he’d died before, and now…

Now…

I came to myself straddling him, and it took me a second to realize why my hands were slick and warm.

Blood.

There was so much blood, all over my hands, my arms… all over his face and the ruin that was his neck.

I wasn’t sure when I’d started stabbing him, but I apparently hadn’t had any qualms about not stopping.

Shit.

That wasn’t what I’d meant to do.

Even as I thought it, I lifted the knife again.

“Axel, for fuck’s sake. I think he’s dead.” Xavier’s voice was a little rough, but it stopped me mid-motion. My head whirled in his direction in time to see him wiping a streak of blood from his cheek with a small grunt. His eyes flicked between the dead body I was straddling and my face. “You know, I’m not sure which one of you looks more pale.”

I didn’t feel myself dropping the knife, but I did feel it when he leaned his body heavily against me.

A little too heavy. I could feel every ounce of pain rocking through him, every place he’d been hurt.

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