Page 29 of Beyond Reason

My mind took a moment to catch up with what he was asking—I was still drifting somewhere in the vision that was his face as ecstasy overtook his body. He was so beautiful.

He was always going to be so beautiful.

But then he stepped forward, using his knee to spread my legs wide. “Axel, finish it.”

Oh. Oh, fuck. He wanted me to touch myself. He wanted to watch me, and he’d been so generous to provide me with lube. Under the weight of his stare, I couldn’t resist. My hand slid down my chest, fingers slicking through the stripe of cum he’d painted my abdomen with, then seized my dick.

I ached. Just wrapping my fingers around myself was almost too much, but I couldn’t just burst at the first stroke. I needed to give him the same kind of show he’d given me.

I needed to make him feel good, to let him see how good he’d made me feel.

It was slow—achingly, teasingly slow. It was the only way I would be able to do this with any ounce of self control. His cum on my skin, slick and still warm, was driving me wild. The sensation of his eyes roaming and taking in the sight of me was like another hand on me, touching and teasing and demanding.

Only Xavier could bring me to the edge by just watching.

No matter how good a show I wanted to put on, he’d already gotten me so close that I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold out for long. The good thing was that didn’t matter—in fact, letting go and letting him see how much I wanted him was probably better than trying to pretend otherwise.

I groaned and shifted my hips up, thrusting into my fist while keeping my eyes locked on him. The feel of his cum slicking my palm, giving my cock the glide it needed, was so irresistible… and the way he watched me made me feel drunk.

He was so fucking beautiful, and the possessive, burning expression on his face was everything I remembered. Everything I’d missed.

Everything I never thought I’d see again.

But here he was, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep myself away from him.

I wanted him too much.

I came crying his name, and some part of me was faintly aware that my cum was mixing with his, that I held our combined pleasure in my hand. He walked around the bench while I stroked myself through my orgasm and leaned over me, bringing his lips to mine in a gentle kiss that left him drinking down another soft whisper of his name as my hand finally fell limp to my stomach.

I wasn’t sure if I could move… but apparently, Xavier hadn’t forgotten this part of it either. Fingers threaded gently through my hair, disappearing for just a second before coming back with a towel. His hands were careful and thorough as he wiped me clean, though a small part of me wanted to protest. I laid passively under his touch as he ran the fabric over my stomach, my oversensitive cock. He wiped the sweat from my skin and even pulled my clothing back into place.

When he was done, he dropped the fabric to the ground and looked me over again—his eyes were softer than I’d seen them since he showed up at my door, but the fire behind them burned so bright it was almost painful to look.

Too beautiful. Too dangerous.

“Come on.” He let his fingers trail the length of my arm before taking my hand. “Let’s go back to your room. I think I need a nap.”

I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to tell him that this was still a bad idea, and I wouldn’t—couldn’t—do it. But I let him pull me up instead, and felt my body sway toward his, hungry to touch skin on skin. Our shoulders pressed together, and I let him lead me to bed.

I stirred when Xavier came out of the bathroom dressed, that rumpled, sex-satisfied expression still on his face. I wasn’t sure how long we’d slept, but I was apparently so out of it that I hadn’t noticed him get up. He was smoothing his curls back from his face while he glanced around.

“Looking for something?” I didn’t want to move. I wanted him to get undressed and get back between the sheets with me. I was determined to go back to at least trying to keep him at a distance tomorrow… which meant I needed to take full advantage of my lapse in judgment now.

“Wallet. Either mine or yours,” he teased. “I’m sure you can lend me a few dollars, right?”

It shouldn’t have made me go on high alert, but it did. A few dollars? And he was dressed.

I sat up, the sheet sliding down to my hips. Xavier’s eyes followed the fabric for a moment before he turned back to his search.

“Why do you need that?”

“I was going to take a walk? Go to the store. Maybe buy us something stronger than the water and juice you have in this house. As much as I appreciate the health kick, a good fuck like that deserves—”

“You can’t go out alone.” Panic seized through me again.

Leave. He wanted to leave. And a part of me knew he’d get to this point eventually, but he still wasn’t in top form. He still wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t…

He couldn’t…