Page 77 of Beyond Reason

Seth stared at me, and when the corner of his mouth lifted into the slightest smile, I frowned.

“What?”

“Are you listening to yourself? I have a feeling that even if he’d met Marshall first, you’d still be the one he was supposed to be with. Sometimes…” His smile turned a bit sad. “Sometimes you don’t exactly fit. Your edges are too smooth and you feel good together, but it’s not perfect. But you’d just cut both of you down until it was a match, wouldn’t you?”

I didn’t have to hesitate. “Yes.”

He laughed. “Yeah, it seems that way. Don’t worry about Marshall. I met him… he was… kind. And probably entirely too good for whatever life all of us are leading now. I think he wanted to save me when I was there before.”

“He did.” My voice went a little soft. Maybe I could trust the man in front of me. He had a different motive than I did, but it didn’t mean that we didn’t want the same things.

At the end of the day, I had to take the allies I could get.

I wasn’t going to admit to myself that it might have had something to do with the way Seth seemed so sure I was the person who Axel belonged with. That was a little too sentimental for someone who’d been declared one of the best assassins back when I was alive.

“Can I ask you something?” I needed to change the subject before I did something stupid, like invite him to be my friend.

“Sure?”

“How was it, remembering how the person in your head died?” That was another thing I wasn’t looking forward to. I’d probably recover the memories eventually—I’d never considered how death felt. I’d never concerned myself with it because I was so sure it wasn’t going to come for me any time soon.

“Oh. It was…” Seth trailed off again, and his fingers lifted and brushed against his chin. It took me a second to realize he wasn’t giving me some overly dramatic gesture of contemplation; he was stroking the birthmark that stood out like a strawberry starburst on his skin.

It looked just like mine.

“It took me a while to figure it out, and I’m still not sure why he kept it from me for so long… unless he was afraid to show me how much he cared. But… it was a lot. I remembered it all, and then I realized I’d been looking at the cause my entire life.”

His fingers paused on his chin. It made sense… he wouldn’t have known what the birthmark was—most people wouldn’t think about what their birthmarks really were.

“The cause?”

I already knew though—a starburst like a gunshot under his chin? It was pretty obvious.

“Oh,” Seth tilted his head slightly so I had a full view of the mark. “After he finished his mission with Kade, he felt… He wasn’t happy. Clay… uh…”

He didn’t have to explain.

He didn’t have to say it.

Clay had taken himself out after he’d taken Kade out. A faint part of my mind wondered if I’d do the same thing if I had to kill Axel, but I barely had time to contemplate it. My hands were moving of their own volition, pulling my shirt up and exposing my chest and stomach to Seth. I didn’t know why him sharing his mark with me made me feel compelled to do the same, but I couldn’t stop myself. It wasn’t exactly asking him to be my friend, but I still could have slapped myself at the gesture.

His eyes widened.

“Guess we match, huh?”

“You match Kade more than me, honestly.” Seth stretched his finger out and ran it along the line on my side. Not the bullet wounds, but the long drag that had to have come from a blade.

My chest twinged—a warning, maybe. I was playing with something I didn’t really want, teasing at pain that I could potentially keep locked away forever. I’d been so intent on avoiding it, ready to never remember it. Instead, I shrugged.

“I’m guessing someone got a little stab happy.” I wanted to rip the wound open now, while it wasn’t just Axel here to deal with it. Maybe I wanted to spare him the pain of watching me remember. I didn’t want him to be alone if I fell apart.

Fuck, I really loved him.

Like he was in my head, Seth’s words echoed my thoughts. “Better a stranger than the person you love, right?” The frown crossing his pretty lips faded as my vision blurred.

I’d thought I might remember it in little bits, not like this. Not like this. Memory tore to the surface so violently it punched the air from my lungs.

The person you love.

---