Page 30 of Beyond Reason

My fingers twitched, and I pushed the sheet back, forcing myself not to sway, not to let the panic trying to claw its way up my throat choke me into silence.

“You can come… with…” he slowly trailed off. When his eyes narrowed, I froze. I recognized the stubborn set of his jaw. It was all Xavier, all a hundred memories of the times we’d fought before.

And it sent alarm bells ringing through my senses, because when he looked like that, I knew he’d do whatever it took to make sure that he won.

“Xavier, listen…” Did I pour my heart out? Did I tell him that the thought of him being out of my sight was nearly enough to strangle me, that it was taking every bit of concentration I had to keep my panic at bay from the mere suggestion of it?

It wasn’t logical.

I couldn’t keep him caged.

I knew that… but…

It didn’t change the fact that I wanted to.

“No. You know what? Maybe you shouldn’t come after all.” He took a step back, swiping my wallet from the dresser as he did so. “I’m fine, Axel. No one even knows I’m here. No one knows I’m still alive. No one is going to come after me.”

He didn’t know that. For all he knew, Marshall had enemies. For all he knew, someone was watching the house right now, just waiting for him to step out alone.

Xavier didn’t know anything.

“Just let me come with you.” Breathy. Slightly panicked. I couldn’t do this.

And this was not the time to let my emotions get the better of me. He wasn’t just going to be down the driveway this time, and I didn’t think it would be good for me to chase after him half-naked and smelling like sex and sweat.

“No, you know what? I’ve been cooped up in this house for weeks. I’ve been dealing with training and relearning who I am in the fucking little pieces you’ll give me. I think I need a breather.” He narrowed his eyes. “Away from you.”

Away from you.

Just the thought made me want to fly apart.

“Xavier, please.” Making demands wouldn’t do a damn thing for me. But maybe I could appeal to his logic. Maybe I could…

“I’ll see you later, Axel. I promise, I’m not incapable. I’ll bring back dinner.” He lifted my wallet and wiggled it. “On your dime.”

And before I had a chance to scramble after him, he was gone. I heard the front door slam shut as I started pulling on my pants. I wasn’t sure if the dread in my chest was simple muscle memory from every nightmare I’d ever had of him walking away, or if intuition was trying to tell me that something was going to happen.

Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to let him get hurt.

Not again.

Chapter 9

Xavier

Iwas fuming. A small part of me understood—of course I understood—that Axel was more protective of me than a normal person would be. And maybe it made sense. Maybe I would have felt the same way about him if he’d been dead for twenty years and suddenly came back.

But that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it. That didn’t mean that I had to put up with his bullshit. I wasn’t going to act like I was spun sugar just because I’d had the unfortunate luck to die before.

I was going to make sure I didn’t do it again.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and threw a glance over my shoulder. I was surprised he wasn’t running after me like a madman again, half naked and desperate…

But he’d looked so good while he was doing that. He’d looked so…

Needy.

In love.

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