Page 25 of Beyond Reason

“Damn it, Axel. What was that?” I snatched the wooden knife from his hand, and he whirled on me. That same wide-eyed terror was written all over his face, and it made me ache. I had no idea why he was looking at me like that.

I had no idea what had happened.

Any memory of that expression was a complete blank, and it made me want to tear my own skull open to find the secrets hidden beneath the trauma and damage.

What if I never remembered?

The thought made something in my chest seize in near panic, and Axel used that moment to head to the door.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say he was running away from me.

For some reason, the sight of him scrambling out of the room like my touch had set him on fire was enough to make me shake off the freezing sensation in my chest. I took off after him and nearly tackled him when I caught up. My body might have been weaker than it used to be, but I refused to let that stop me. I refused to let him get away from me.

Not now, not ever. If death couldn’t keep us apart, I wasn’t going to let something as ridiculous as his piss poor attitude manage.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and used his momentum to spin him, slamming his back against the wall again. This time, my arms skated down the length of his and pinned his wrists at his sides.

He could have stopped me—I was aware he could still overpower me right now if he wanted to, but his eyes looked haunted.

He was looking at me like I was a ghost, and I couldn’t blame him. That’s probably exactly what I seemed like to him.

I wanted to feel bad. I wanted to apologize for how hard this was on him, but I was too busy being infuriated that he’d tried to leave.

“Listen Axel, I know this is hard on you. I get it.” I came up on my toes so I could press close to him—my lips grazed the shell of his ear, and I felt him shudder.

This was familiar, too. Axel beneath me.

Axel, soft and pretty and open and begging.

Axel crying.

Axel in chains, and I…

Oh…

Oh.

“You know, when you used to run from me, I think you wanted me to catch you. I think you liked it.”

I remembered that, too. Brief little snippets of it, us getting lost together in the woods on purpose just so I could chase him… and I…

“Xavier… I…” He took a gasping breath and slid from my grip as easily as if I weren’t holding onto him at all. I let him go this time—it was too late. I’d already seen beneath the rough exterior he was trying to present.

I’d already seen past all of his bravado enough to remember who we were.

What we were.

And now that I had, there was no way I was going to let it go.

Chapter 8

Axel

If I’d ever doubted that the man in my house was Xavier, the past few weeks of training would have been all the proof I needed.

It was easy enough to fake memories, or even certain mannerisms… but there was no way to fake the fluid grace that was the way Xavier fought. There was no way to fake the way he flipped a knife from one hand to the next in a blink, or the almost dance-like motion when he came in for a kill.

There was no way to fake how he could hold a gun like he knew how to use it, but it was obvious that he preferred up close and personal.

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