Page 2 of Loving the Coach

The policewoman begins to talk and she tells me that Dean is dead. He jumped off the bridge over the highway. He was hit by a truck and died on impact. It was all over quickly. How do they know that? How do they know he didn’t die slowly in pain? Garret hugs me tighter as I feel my legs collapse.

They tell us that Garret was there when it happened. He had found him on the edge of the bridge and he had tried to stop him from jumping. He said that he would have done anything to get him to come back from the side, but he wouldn’t listen. He said that his life was worthless and that no one would miss him.

Why would he say that? We would all miss him. Mom and Dad go down to the hospital to identify him and Garret stays with me. He lays on the bed with me and holds me as I sob late into the night. He tells me that he’s going to be there for me and that he loves me.

I can’t control the sobs that leave my body, but I’m grateful for Garret. He’s my rock and I wouldn’t get through the night without him.

At the funeral I look for Garret but he’s not there. I can’t believe he didn’t turn up. What the heck? Did Dean not mean as much to him as he said? What could be more important than saying goodbye to his best friend and being there for his girlfriend? Because I am his girlfriend, right?

In fact I never hear from Garret again. He pulled my heart out of my chest and stamped on it then he put it through a shredder. I will never open my heart to anyone again, not if being in love feels this bad.

CHAPTER 2

KATIE

Cheerleading has been my life since Dean died. I needed to get behind something to take my mind off the fact that my brother left us behind. I’m the captain of the cheerleading team at school and we’ve been entering the Cheer competitions and are trying to get to Daytona, the holy grail of cheerleading. We train four times a week and my abs are more defined than a bodybuilder.

I’ve just got home from practice and all I want to do is have a shower and go to bed. I’m wrecked and still have an assignment to turn in in two days, but I just need to close my eyes. When I walk in the kitchen to grab a quick sandwich, mom is in there already. I was hoping to avoid her at all costs.

“Where the hell have you been?” She shakes her glass in the air and points it at me. “I’m empty, fill me up.”

I take her glass and pour the vodka into it, then add ice and lemonade. This is a routine for me now. I used to fight her and tell her that she should stop drinking, but nothing works. She won’t listen to me. Why should she when she is trying to get over her son killing himself?

Mom has drowned her sorrows since the morning after Dean died and she doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon. I just have to live with it. Dad left six months after Dean died. He couldn’t cope with mom any longer. He said that he wanted to mourn his son and she wasn’t allowing him to do that. It was all about her. I see him every couple of weeks, but I’ve kind of had to look after myself and deal with mom’s annoying habits.

“I’ve been to cheer—you know that. I’m going upstairs to do my homework.” Turning I walk to the door to go upstairs.

“Wait there,” she tells me, there’s no emotion in her voice.

Turning I stand with my hands on my hips and look at her. I’ve mentally switched off, so it doesn’t matter what she says to me.

“Someone called looking for you, the caller was from Hurtsboro. I told them you didn’t know anyone in Hurtsboro and they had the wrong number.” My heart drops to the floor. Fuck. I’ve been waiting to hear from them and now she’s pushed them away.

“Did they give you a name?”

“No, I didn't give them a chance. Who do you know in Hurtsboro and why would they be ringing you?” She doesn’t know that I applied to be on the Hurtsboro Hummingbirds team’s cheer squad. It’s been my dream since joining cheer class. They wouldn’t be calling to tell me I didn’t get in would they? I wonder who I need to ring. I need to correct this clusterfuck Mom has set in motion.

“No one. Just wondered if it was someone I knew.” Turning I walk upstairs and throw my bag and myself on the bed. I grab my pillow and scream into it. The tears start falling and I can’t help the slow slide into depression. I need to pull myself together. They wouldn’t call me with bad news. They would send a rejection letter - right?

I grab my emails and then I call Hurtsboro Hummingbirds and explain that someone called me and my mom hung up on them. The lady on the phone laughs and tells me that her mother is like that too.

Phew, thank God she took pity on me. She takes my cell number and says she will find out who called me and get them to call on my cell phone, but it might be tomorrow at this stage.

My cell rings about half an hour later while I’m fully immersed in my geography assignment.

“Hello, Katie speaking.”

“Hi, Katie. This is Nate from Hurtsboro Hummingbird Football Club. We were impressed by your videos and we’ve done some research on you. You recently attended Daytona and won, well done. That’s a hard competition especially with Nevarro winning it most years.”

“Yeah, we were so excited and we got a fantastic welcome back at the school.”

“It’s definitely a great accomplishment. We’d love for you to come and train with us here in Hurtsboro with a view to being on the squad when the season starts in a few weeks time. What do you think?”

“Oh my god are you joking? Are you making this up?” I jump up and down and can’t believe what he’s saying to me.

Nate laughs. “No, I’m serious. Your enthusiasm and skills are just what we are looking for. So, along with the pay, you will be given a room in an apartment with a couple of the other cheerleaders. You’ll be on a three month probationary contract with a good chance of renewal. You just need to prove that we are right in choosing you, Katie.”

Everything is spinning in my head. This is my chance to get out of Hicksville for once and for all. “I accept. Really I do. What do I need to do now?”

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