Page 2 of Reunited with the Soldier

She gives me a sad smile. “I had my happiness, Kash, some of us weren’t lying about how we felt.” She takes a step backward. “You were my safe space,” she whispers cryptically. “Goodbye Kash Henderson.”

She turns and walks away, as much as I want to go after her, I can’t, I’m leaving today and chasing after Lauren will just make me leaving all that much harder.

I slide my hands into my pockets and watch as she walks away, moving toward the end of the beach. I know that she comes here a lot when she wants to think, when she wants to be alone. I swallow back the pain as I watch her sit on the sand, her knees pressed against her chest and her arms wrapped around her leg.

I’ve hurt her.

I’m a fucking asshole.

I walk back to my car, every step that I take is painful. She never deserved this, fuck, she deserved a whole lot better than me.

* * *

I climb onto the bus and take a seat by the window. I can’t stop my gaze moving to the crowd outside. To the families of those who are here saying goodbye to their loved ones. My sister Kayla wanted to be here but I told her not to. I’ve said my goodbye to her, I don’t want to do it again.

I scan the crowd once again, my chest tightening when I don’t see her. Not that I blame her for not being here. Lauren deserves so fucking much more than the shit I heaped on her today. There’s no reason for her to say goodbye to me.

The bus driver pulls away from the curb, the feeling of dread sets in, I feel as though I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life in leaving Lauren behind.

Fuck.

ONE

LAUREN

Nine months later

“No, please stay away from me. Not today, I don’t need this today.” I whisper in the darkness. I hate my stepfather, Frank. He is a nasty piece of work and I don’t know why my Mom doesn’t leave him. He hits her and he started hitting me a couple of years ago. I managed to hide it from everyone, but recently his beatings have been getting a lot worse.

His drinking has been horrendous and when he drinks he beats Mom, and if he hasn’t had enough beating her then he comes to my room and kicks and hits me.

I have a secret, one that I know is going to come out very soon. I’m pregnant. And I’ve not told anyone. No one. Not even my Mom. The night Kash and I slept together before he left for the military. It was like his last thing he needed to tick off his to do list before he went away. One—sleep with Lauren—check. Two—break Lauren’s heart—check.

I’ve not spoken to him since he left, it’s like he wanted a clean break. I haven’t told him I’m pregnant and if I have our child then I don’t want him to be involved at all. I don’t need his money or his pity and I certainly don’t need a would-be dad who pops in every few months. Nope, that’s not what I want or need. I want to have my child and then I want to get as far away from here as possible.

I’ve told my Mom that Frank beats me. She told me to stop arguing with him and I told her that it’s not that that triggers him, it’s his drinking. I try to stay out of his way and some weeks I can stay away from him for days, but the closer I am to having this baby, the more I’m at home and within reach for when he wants a punching bag. Baggy clothes have helped me to keep it hidden, but I know that I am over my due date so I need to just get through the next couple of days and then they will induce me.

My back is hurting today and I’ve stayed in my room out of everyone’s way. I don’t know what is going to happen next, but I know that the last thing I need is for Frank to come into my room tonight.

The pain gets worse as the hours pass and I can’t hear Frank anymore. I wonder if I am in labor? I need to get to the hospital to find out what the pain is and what I should do about it.

I take my baby bag that I have packed from under my bed and I throw it over my shoulder. I open my window, which leads onto a small balcony where I have the ladder so that I can climb down into the garden. Kash used to use this ladder to come and see me and I think of the irony of using it now.

Just as I’m about to climb out of the window, Frank storms into my room and slams my door against the wall. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Get back in here, you’re not going anywhere.” He pulls my bag and I land on the bag on the floor.

“Stay down there you bitch. I’m sick and tired of this family. You all think you can do what you like and you don’t listen to a word I say.” He kicks me in my side and I feel nauseous. The pain in my back is getting worse and I want to puke.

I roll into the fetal position to hide my stomach and protect my baby, but he keeps kicking me. In my side, back, stomach and head. I puke on the floor. “You dirty bitch, you are going to get up on your feet and clean that up. You’re disgusting, it’s no wonder Kash left you here on your own. You’re not worthy of love.”

His words break me apart, my fight leaving me. I just hope that if I make it out of this attack alive, that my baby does too. He stops kicking me and leaves the room. I sob before I puke again.

It’s quiet for a few minutes and I breathe again. When I slowly sit up I pull up my top to rub my stomach. “I hope you’re okay in there, baby. Mommy loves you and she’s going to protect you.”

I don’t see or hear Frank come back in the room, but when he grabs my shoulders and drags me across the floor, I know that I am in a world of trouble.

“You’re pregnant? You little slut. Here I thought you were innocent but all this time you’ve been opening your legs for everyone. Is that why Kash left you because you were pregnant with another guy's child? You dirty whore.” I’ve never seen him this angry. “How are we going to be able to afford another mouth to feed, it’s already a shit show in here. We don’t have enough money to feed just us and you want a baby.”

He kicks me in the stomach, directly at my baby. “Get off me you bastard, don’t you dare fucking kill her.” I fight back with all my might. He kicks my arm when I protect my stomach and the pain rushes through me and I know that it’s broken. He keeps kicking me and all I can think of is losing my baby. This is the one person who I love unconditionally and who I want to love me back. As long as I have my child’s love I can do anything in life, right?

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