Page 3 of Ghost's Control

I know he’s a biker and that they all fuck the trash, but I really thought we had something special between us. Something I couldn’t explain, but that felt good.

I was so glad when Prez called Church and Ghost had to leave me alone. I didn’t want to see his pity for my bruises. I wanted his dominance to make me feel that he was in control. I know that sounds sick after what I’ve just been through, but I’m a true submissive in the bedroom and I need to feel that he’ll look after me and make sure that nothing happens to me again. I crave it, but right now I don’t want it.

“Hey babe, here, have a drink,” Jem says as she grabs a bottle of Jack and pours one for Tara and I, she has soda as she’s pregnant. “What the fuck happened, Gi?”

I can’t stop crying. All my emotions about what happened come to the surface. I was expecting Ghost to fix everything for me, but now he’s not mine anymore and I know he’s not going to be able to fix me. No one is.

“I can’t believe I thought Ghost would be here for me. I should have known better than to get into bed with a fucking biker.” I am so mad. I can’t stop shouting and crying.

“Hey, watch it,” Jem says, there’s no heat in her words at all. “Not all bikers are bad, you know. In fairness, I haven’t seen him with any of the gash’s until tonight.”

“Sorry, I know you’re both with bikers. I know they’re good men. I just… I just want to diss Ghost right now. I needed him tonight. I needed him to be there for me.” I reach out and take the glass of Jack and down it in one - holding out my glass for another one.

“I know, babe,” Tara puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her body. “I know how much you needed him, and I’m so sorry you saw that tonight.”

“Look girls, I think I should just go.” I stand up and wobble slightly, the Jack going to my head a little. “I don’t belong here. I’m not Ghost’s old lady. I’m not his anything. I don’t belong here.”

Jem grabs my hand. “Gi, you belong here. You are under the protection of Angel’s Fury. When we have a situation, then we go on lockdown and that’s what's happening right now. Travis has called everyone back because it’s the only way they can protect everyone and that includes you, Gi. What happened to you should never have happened and none of the men here will let it go. They will find him and make sure he knows what he did wasn’t right. They will get justice for you.”

“I know.” I sob. “I just don’t want to be anyone else’s problem. I don’t need to rely on anyone, I've managed on my own for so long. You know that Jem.” I look up at her.

“I do. Listen, no matter what Ghost has done tonight, I know that he cares about you. I know that he is angry with himself and I bet he can’t wait to get out of Church so that he can find you and make this right.”

I step away. “No, I don’t want to talk to him. Not tonight. I can’t.” The tears come again.

“Come on, Gi. I think you should go to bed and then tomorrow we can start over.”

“I don’t have anywhere to stay.”

Tara smiles at me. “You can have Cas’s room, he’s going to be staying with me and Tank, anyway. None of us will tell Ghost where you are. Come on,” she grabs the bottle of Jack, “Let’s finish this bottle in Cas’s room.”

The girls all show me to Cas’s room, and they sit on the bed. Tara opens one of the drawers and takes a t-shirt out. She sniffs it before giving it to me. “It smells of Cas, he always makes me feel better. But don’t get used to the smell.” She laughs and tries to look angry.

“Thanks, Tara.” I go into the bathroom and change into the t-shirt. Then I climb into the bed, sitting up with the cover over me. I watch as Jem looks over my body. She’s shaking her head. “Jem, I know what it looks like. I’ll be fine honestly. I hurt all over, but the pain will go. It’s the emotions that I can’t handle.”

I can’t stop crying. I don’t even know what I am crying for now.

“Are you ready to tell us how you got those marks on your neck, Gi?” Jem asks, although I’m sure she knows.

“He found me. All my hiding and moving around didn’t do me any good at all. He found me.”

“Fuck.” I can feel the steam coming off Jem. She is so angry right now.

“He was going to rape her, Jem,” Tara says. I look at her and she nods her head. She knows that Jem needs to know everything.

“Fuck,” Jem growls, her hands balling into fists.

Tara takes brings the bottle of alcohol to her lips. I think we are going to need another bottle at the rate we are going through this one. “I found her on the sand. He had his trousers down and he was about to rape her. He had beaten her black and blue and he had his hands around her throat and was squeezing hard, Jem.” Tara can barely keep her shit together to get that out.

“I know it’s hard for you guys to understand, because I love a man’s hands around my throat - when it’s done properly and for the right reasons. But I really thought he was going to kill me.” I sob. “My vision was full of black spots and was starting to go fuzzy. My breathing was labored, and I felt dizzy and breathless. I thought that was it. I was going to end my days on the beach, surrounded by beautiful houses, sand and lots of people going about their everyday business and not taking any notice of the man about to rape me and kill me.”

I’m running out of tears. I lay down in the bed, my head on the pillow while the others sit on the bed and in the chair in the corner of the room.

Jem takes my hand. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Gi. You’re going to be okay here. Everyone is going to protect you.”

“What about protecting me from Ghost? Is anyone going to do that?” I ask, not sure how I feel about him.

“They will make sure he won’t hurt you or force you into anything. Ghost wouldn’t physically hurt you anyway, Gigi, you know that. Deep down you know that’s true.” Jem smiles at me.

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