Reed emerges from the bathroom, running a hand across his chest, looking down as he walks. “Here you go, my beauty. I’m going to do what I can to ease the ache in that battered—”
I’m staring at him, unable to stop the trembling that’s taking over my head now. He drops the cloth and breaks into an uneven lurching run toward the bed.
I’m shaking and convulsing on my right side, my head convulsing back and forth on my neck. I can’t stop it, but I push up on my left arm. I don’t want him to see me like this.
Oh my god.
My legs still work, it’s the right side of my upper body I can’t control.
“Jesus, Constance!” Reed’s voice fills with horror.
I grab the sheet as I go, tucking it as best I can around me with only one hand. The spasms are already subsiding, but I’m so embarrassed. Saliva is dripping out of the corner of my mouth and I see the look on Reed’s face. The only thing I can think is he must be horrified. Disgusted. Even though his eyes tell me otherwise.
The shaking subsides. It’s over, but I barrel forward anyway, tucking the sheet around me and under my arms, reaching down to grab my clothes off the floor, tears clouding my vision.
“Stop!” He yells. “Come here.”
“No, I have to go.” He blocks my path and the sob I am desperately trying to hold in explodes out of me only adding to my humiliation.
“You’re not fucking going anywhere. We need to get you to the hospital.”
He grabs my shoulders. And instead of calmly letting him talk, I jerk back and forth, then I slam my shoulder into his chest and throw him off balance on his weak leg.
As soon as I’ve done it I’m sorry for it, but my embarrassment only multiplies tenfold when his leg buckles under him and he’s going down.
I don’t find my bra and underwear, just my skirt and the sheet, but I’m down the stairs and out the door. It’s still dark, but my purse is in my car, so instead of going into the guesthouse to settle down, I jump in my car, push the ignition button and tear out of the driveway.
The first person I have sex with is probably the best trainer in the world, and I have a fit right there. Then, instead of being mature enough to deal with it, I knock him down and run out the front door. My level of pathetic is epic.
I shake out my arm, as I steer the SUV down the driveway to the road going far faster than is safe. The numbness still tingling my fingers. Not only did I just embarrass myself beyond anything I’ve ever imagined, I know that I’ll never be able to ride again if I can’t control this thing.
What is happening to me?
I just went from the happiest moment in my life to this pit, and I just hope he doesn’t come looking for me. Because I can’t face him.