Page 28 of Fast-Track Fiancé

‘You seem preoccupied,’ he murmured, pulling her closer against him. ‘I thought I’d worked hard enough there to calm your mind for a bit.’

‘Nothing calms my mind,’ she said honestly. ‘I only ever get a brief respite before it’s right back to full speed again.’

‘Sounds exhausting.’ He chuckled. ‘But it makes sense.’

‘How so?’ She turned to look up at him.

‘You couldn’t do the job you do without an enormous amount of focus and knowledge. You’re talented and you work hard, of course, but you’re also gifted, from what I can tell. You don’t just know the sport, you live and breathe it.’

She hesitated for a moment, then decided to tell him what she’d begun to suspect about herself. She told him about what she’d learned of autism and neurodivergence and how it often ran in families for generations undetected for a variety of reasons. By the time she realised she’d been talking uninterrupted for far too long, she felt a little ridiculous and poised to apologise and change the subject, only for Tristan to surprise her once again.

‘I can see it.’ He smiled, one hand smoothing down over her hair. ‘The way your mind works has fascinated me from the moment we met. Like you see the world in high definition, no detail missed. But I can see how that would be an intense way to live.’

Nina sat with the strange feeling of being finally seen and tried to repress the emotion that had filled her chest. There was no way he could know what just listening and validating her wild new feelings and thoughts would mean to her, but even if he was just being kind...it was more than she’d ever experienced before.

‘I think I’ve always been different in a way no one around me could understand,’ she said quietly. ‘Except maybe my brother. He’s different too, in his own way. He knows just as much as me about racing, and he even got a seat after the academy at eighteen. But where I thrived with the consistency and the heavy workload, he struggled and turned to partying to cope. He couldn’t keep up with the pressure to perform in Elite One, so they let him go.’

Tristan seemed to stiffen at the mention of her brother, his gaze slipping away from her as they listened to the peaceful lapping of waves on the outside of the yacht.

‘Alain is a troubled soul,’ he offered vaguely.

‘He is. I think that’s when he started to lose control. He wanted to join the R&D team, maybe be team principal someday. But he felt ashamed of not living up to the family name or something. And then I started doing so well in my racing...’ She frowned, thinking of her own single-minded nature and how obsessed she’d been with graduating top of the academy. Had she ever asked her brother how he was? ‘I don’t think I was a very good sister to him.’

‘You can’t blame yourself for the actions and struggles of the people you love. Trust me, that way lies only suffering.’ Tristan sighed, seemingly agitated by her admission. ‘Your brother is a grown man. He will either figure it out, or he won’t. Either way, none of that is on you.’

‘Spoken like someone with a similar experience?’ she asked, curious.

For a moment she saw a strange emotion cross his features, and his throat worked as though he was about to speak before he stopped himself. ‘I won’t pretend to know why your brother did the things he’s done. Just as I had to admit the same about my uncle. He became severely depressed after his wife, my aunt, died of cancer; he became disassociated from the estate and impossible to reach emotionally by those closest to him, and, with his refusal to help himself, he left a lot of people hurt and angry in the process. In the end, his total immersion in his grief to the exclusion of all else killed him, and nearly took me with him. I couldn’t save him, nor could my mother or Victor. I don’t think anyone could.’

‘You’re very wise, Tristan Falco,’ she mused, running a hand along his chest.

‘Is that your way of calling me old?’ He growled, pulling her on top of him. And just like that, they both made a silent agreement to avoid the darker turn that their conversation had taken and throw themselves back into the fantasy of it just being the two of them alone in their bubble. And while Nina was grateful, she still couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between them, that the path ahead had become infinitely more perilous.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

BY THE TIME the day came for them to travel with the team to Buenos Aires, Nina found herself wishing for more time off for the first time ever. Usually, she hated the three-week vacation that took place in the middle of each Elite One season, but this one, now more than halfway through, was possibly the most enjoyable holiday she’d ever had. Tristan was fun and charming and educated, and while having sex with him was rather amazing, even by her very inexperienced standards, conversation with him was just as stimulating. It was a pity reality ever had to intrude.

The commercial jet that Tristan had chartered for their entire team to travel upon together was top of the range and included a handful of private cabins for the owner and the management of the team, along with the three drivers travelling together. From the moment they’d boarded the jet, Apollo and Daniele Roberts had disappeared into their cabins. As had the team principal and the other members of the board who were travelling with them. Nina had brought her things into her own cabin area and then immediately gone in search of Tristan, who had gone to speak with the pilot. When he re-entered his cabin to find her sitting upon his makeshift bed, he did not look as seductive and relaxed as he had when they’d awoken upon the yacht earlier this morning. Instead, he had a tightness about him.

‘Is everything okay?’

He nodded, putting his hands into the pockets of his trousers, then taking them back out again to place them upon his hips and stare around the small cabin walls. He looked rather like a lion in captivity, she thought, as if he were pacing behind the bars of his cage and wishing to be anywhere but here.

She had never considered the fact that flying might be difficult for him, considering his accident. It was hard to see past the calm, confident mask that he portrayed to the world. Surely he would have told her...but as she thought back, there was no denying he avoided flying. In all their time together, he had opted for private train cars, yacht travel, he had even driven for hours on end in lieu of the much faster option of helicopters or jets.

‘Do you struggle with air travel?’ she asked gently, standing up to place one hand on his chest.

‘I manage okay.’

‘Tristan.’

‘Nina, I don’t need your pity right now.’ The words came out of his mouth harshly, and she tried not to take offence. He was feeling whatever he was feeling and she wouldn’t judge.

‘Let me help.’

A small laugh escaped his lips, and he scrubbed his hand over the stubble upon his jaw before finally meeting her eyes. ‘Nothing helps. The terror is the same every time. The memories, the intrusive thoughts... It feels just like it did... That day.’

‘The day of your accident,’ she finished for him.

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