Page 53 of Love Me Not

“That’s not what I meant either. Though good point. What I’m saying is that companionship can be enough without the legal commitment.”

This was starting to sound very new age-y. “Like eternally dating?” What a horrible thought.

“Let me give an example. After Dad left, we struggled a lot because everything was in his name. Mom trusted him to take care of us, and when he left, she had nothing. Her name wasn’t on any of the accounts or even on the lease of the little house we rented.”

“Your dad was a serious piece of crap.”

“That’s probably the nicest way to put it,” he agreed. “Five years later Mom met Howard. He was as solid as they come, and fell head over heels on their first date. But she couldn’t get over what Dad did and made it clear she’d never get married again.”

“That must have broken Howard’s heart,” I said, emotionally invested in the story.

“Nope.” Trey shoved a piece of cheese back into his burger, then wiped his fingers on his napkin. I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t like his hands or his mouth being messy. “Howard and Mom had almost twenty-five good years together until she passed away.”

“But they never married?”

“Never married.”

Quite the open-minded idea. And yet, a relationship was still a relationship, with all of the expectations and compromises required regardless of whether or not a marriage license was involved. My issue wasn’t so much with commitment as with letting another person that far into my life.

I simply wasn’t an easy person to tolerate, and I hated the idea of bending myself to be something I wasn’t. Nor did I have the patience to tolerate someone else constantly in my space. Still, this was a new point of view I’d never considered.

“How did they trust that the other person wouldn’t walk away? Especially your mom.”

He looked up in contemplation. “I guess that was the point. She knew if he did walk away, nothing in our lives would change. She had her own money, her own place, her own accounts. They were together because they wanted to be, not because they had to be. From the beginning, Howard understood her boundaries and respected them. Now that I think about it, that’s probably a big part of why they worked.”

Twenty-five years of knowing someone was by your side for no other reason than that they wanted to be there. That they chose you even knowing there was always an out. Now that was commitment.

“Do you feel the same way Howard did? That just being together is enough?”

“The honest answer is that I’m not sure. I haven’t found anyone to test the theory with yet.”

“Wait a minute.” I did the math from what few facts he’d shared. “Aren’t you pushing forty?”

“You don’t have to put it that way,” he said, licking blue cheese off his finger. “I turned thirty-seven at the end of April.”

Huh. “You’re the same age as my brother, Joe. I wouldn’t have guessed you were that old.”

“Can you stop making me sound like I’m ready for a walker?”

“It’s just that my brother is old mentally. He’s a boomer trapped in a millennial body. So in thirty-seven years you’ve never found someone you wanted to hitch up with?”

He laughed. “I wasn’t exactly looking for dates from the crib. I’ve had a couple serious relationships, but no urge to hitch up, as you put it.”

“How are we doing over here?” Maureen asked, approaching the table.

“I could use more water,” Trey said. “And some extra napkins, please.”

“Sure thing. And you ma’am?”

“I’m good, thanks.”

The waitress walked away and Trey said, “How about you? No one’s ever tempted you out of this no dating stance?”

Someone was making me think about it, but I wouldn’t be admitting that right now.

“I dated in college, but only for fun. There were a few short-lived romances in my twenties, and that was enough for me.” In truth, I’d never been enough for them, and they’d taken great pains to tell me so. “I’m not good at it.”

“There’s a cure for not being good at something.”

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