Page 81 of Fire for Effect

Griff smiled, a little, in response. And I liked that. I liked that when I laughed, he laughed. If I was sad, he was sad. He always mirrored what I felt.

“Why was he trying to get you to come back?”

“He said that anytime I was out of range, and not on Facebook, that I was probably out slutting it up and getting gangbanged by you, Top, Goose and Veder, of course,” I shrugged.

“The fuck?” His brows furrowed. “You were in a combat deployment and he thought…”

“Yup.” I said, not waiting for him to finish.

While I knew, in my heart that I was not what Heath said I was. But that never lessened the sting. There was a part of me that believed, beyond what was reasonable, that everyone else’s opinions meant more than my own. That other people’s words had more truth than mine.

“He said I’d sleep with anyone. That I was so desperate that I’d spread my legs for—”

“Is he alive?”

I almost laughed. “As far as I know.”

“Where is he now?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I didn’t want to know.

Chapter 21

Why Didn’t You Tell Me?

Griff

“Heath Carlin.” The name tasted like poison in my mouth. Like something that had been in the back of the cupboard and soured with rot. “H-E-A-T-H C-A-R-L-I-N.”

I spelled out his name, just to make sure I got it right.

“What’s his birth date and social security number?” I clenched and unclenched a fist while my other hand held her wrist, needing to feel her. I needed to know she was here. I had to touch her.

She laughed. It bubbled out of her mouth so quickly that she covered her lips with hand to stop it.

“You’re not going to kill him,” she said with a smile.

I smiled too. I smiled because she was smiling. When she laughed, I laughed. That was the effect Taz Guerro had on me.

“Yes, I will.”

She didn’t believe me but that was alright. But if this man was alive, I would bury him.

“Quit kidding around!” She leaned forward, her hands almost swatting my chest, but she thought better of it, pulling back at the last minute before her hand could land on me.

I grabbed her hands in retreat, and placed them on my chest, digging her palms into my pecs. I needed contact. I wanted it so badly, I didn’t think I’d survive if she stayed away.

“Don’t pull away, baby,” I begged. “We’re not in the Army. We’re not married to anyone else. There’s no reason for us not to touch.”

She blushed. “You can’t throw out over five years of habit in a couple nights.”

“Try,” I dared, leaning in to kiss her forehead. She let me. She didn’t flinch away or push me off. That was progress. “What’s his date of birth?” I asked again.

“Stop joking.” She laughed, slipping one hand away and wiping a tear, before she returned her hand to my chest.

“Just because I’m laughing doesn’t mean I’m joking.” I chuckled, pushing a bit of hair off her face.

---