Page 57 of Fire for Effect

Veder paused his stride but recovered quickly. “Is that right?”

He casually continued the task at hand, and when there was no lumber left in the barn, he started going to the nearby woodline, picking up dead branches along the way.

I piled the things small enough to be kindling, then stacked tinder above it. Then set the wood in a pyramid formation and set it on fire. The old wood smoked horrendously, sending a black plume into the sky.

“That his jacket you’re wearing?” Veder came up beside me, hooking his hands on his belt buckle, as we both gazed into the flames.

“Yes,” I said, suddenly aware of the cinnamon scent that came from the threads. Griff always smelled like leather and spice. I had never clocked that on any other man besides him, and now I was surrounded by it, even though he wasn’t around.

I wanted to take the jacket off and throw it into the fire, but… couldn’t.

“How do you feel about that?” Veder asked.

“How do you feel about it?” I deflected.

Veder shrugged, feigning casual, even as he gritted his teeth, his jaw ticking.

“Griff has a right to do whatever he wants.” He looked at his 1992 Ford F-series, then sighed. “I guess I should pack my stuff.”

“I don’t know why you let him push you around,” I said, bristling. I hated that Griff’s presence was everywhere, and his will was law. “You didn’t know Kristin was his wife. She gave you a fake name.”

Not like Griff was blameless there. He certainly moved on before the divorce was final.

He had moved on with me. Then… Sandra? Lisa? Then there was Noami, Gina, and Melissa…

It was like the two of them switched. Veder, as I saw, became a monk. Griff should have been the one we called VD.

“It’s not just that,” Veder said, sticking another log on the growing flame.

The rot, paint, and paper made black smoke billow upwards high and proud as we stood with the red barn behind us.

“I mean, it’s a little bit that,” Veder amended. “But I was already in a bad way. Getting drunk and sleeping with faceless women? It was going to bite me in the ass. The truth was I didn’t like myself much and needed to change. Wronging, and then losing my best friend was just rock bottom.”

We stood in silence for a minute, staring at the bonfire.

I found nothing in the world more calming than a fire. It was like harvesting the most destructive force and bending it to your will. I suppose that was why I liked explosions. The raw momentary power, bending to my will, creating a destructive force that I could wield.

Fire was what allowed humans to evolve. Fire, a destroyer, when wielded, became a creator.

“So what’s the drama with you two?” he asked, finally.

I didn’t say anything.

I had grown to like Veder’s new persona. He was practically a buddhist in his silence, and methodical in his daily tasks. He lived here for free but he also worked far beyond the room and board needed. The barn had been so broken but now it was picturesque, like new, with a loft on the top that could serve as an apartment. He’d poured concrete, reinforced beams, installed a bathroom, and insulated the place to be habitable, and did so much more to help out the McClanahans.

He abstained from drinking, partying, and had never brought a woman back as far as I had seen. That was no easy task for a handsome man in a small town, where good looking, single men were rare.

I was beginning to see it for what it was: Penance.

“I broke up with Riley,” I said, swallowing the spit that had formed in my mouth at the words.

Veder seemed to think of that for a moment before he nodded.

“That’s good,” he said.

Then he said nothing else.

“Good?” I pried, waiting to hear more of his opinion, but he said nothing as the orange flames reflected in his weathered face.

---