Page 38 of Chaos Unleashed

I nod and make sure that I’m not going to slip from my seat as I prepare to head back to find her.

I feel Zev’s magic start to build before it suddenly stops.

“No.” A lilting voice echoes around us, and we all draw our weapons. “I can’t let you go back. I’m sorry.”

The heaviness in the air that came along with the voice suddenly disappears, and it's only then that I recognise it for what it is.

“Fuck,” I growl, “was that a goddess?”

Hades nods.

“Why the fuck would the gods and goddesses have a problem with sending you back?” Storm demands.

“How the fuck should I know?” I retort sharply.

Everyone falls silent.

“I’m sorry,” Rival says quietly.

I nod curtly, but that’s all I can manage as my mind whirls with all the possibilities. Am I not allowed to go back because she’s dead, so it would be pointless, or is there another reason? Why can I not know? I hate not knowing. I need to know that she’s okay. The thing is, I really don’t think that she’s okay, and I have no idea how to deal with that. There’s so much that I still don’t know about her and so much that I want to know. More than that though, there are the mysteries surrounding her; she kicked off a hell of a lot of power when she was fighting to get to her magic, more than any normal supernatural would do, and why can’t I tell the guys anything substantial?

As my mind spins with unanswered questions and fear, I push my horse to pick up speed. I need a more challenging ride to get me out of my head and stop this hurt that’s trying to encroach on me. The others don’t question me; they don’t try to stop me, as they just encourage their horses to pick up speed and keep close. I know that if anything tried to attack us right now, they’d pick up the slack until I got my shit in the game. I just need a moment to collect myself and work on how I’m going to find out if she’s okay or not.

“We will help you find her; we can figure out a way to get back to the dream or find her in the cells at the castle like we originally planned,” Storm starts.

“Are we even sure that she’s in the Fae realm?” Rival questions, his voice raised to be heard over the pounding hooves.

His response has my mind pausing for a second. I’m starting to wonder if she is actually in the cells at the castle or if it’s just a manifestation of my own memories. She’s being held somewhere, but that could be anywhere, not necessarily in the cells; either way, for some reason, I can’t say anything, so I reply instead, “I have no idea what realm she’s in.”

"I thought you said that she was in the cells at the castle?" Hades asks, looking confused.

I sigh, feeling frustrated, "I don't know anymore. I thought it was the cells, but what if I was wrong? I'm suddenly unsure about everything."

“We can try and find her, there are spells that can go across realms.” Mayhem replies.

A small smile stretches my lips, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Hades replies and then adds, “We’re on a time constraint right now though, so we’re going to have to find Farren. First, I’m sorry.”

I shake my head, “No, don’t apologise, Farren needs to be found immediately.”

I understand the mission, and as always, a mission comes first. Besides, as difficult as it is to admit, and as much as I don’t want to do it, there is still a chance that Farren can be saved, and I have no idea what state Ren is in or if she’s even alive. Hell, I don’t even know if she’s real. I mean, my instincts are telling me that she’s real; there’s no way that I could be this affected by a figment of my imagination, but I might want her to be real too much. At least, that’s my fear. She was dying when she came to the dream; her light was fading, and she wouldn’t have woken up once she left the dream; I could feel that. I’ve been around enough people on the edge of death to know that she only had as long as the dream lasted left to live.

Anyway, it gives me something else to focus on. I do a hell of a lot better with violence, death, and pain than I do with all of these emotions that I am not familiar with.

From that point on, we focus on riding hard, we’re not that far away from our last rest stop before we get to Farren, and even I can feel the urgency that’s pushing us.

Farren

The light blinds me, and honestly, I expect to see some kind of paradise in my own little slice of the Underworld, the spirit side of it, not this side. I wonder what it will look like and what my deepest desires will make my paradise look like.

Surprise jolts me as I open my eyes to find myself in my corner of the cell. Pain is wrecking my body. I still feel on the edge of death, but something is different. It takes me moments to realise that it’s my magic I can feel my magic, which means I fucking did it.

H, you beautiful bastard.

Without a second thought, I allow my magic to take me over and pull me into the Void. Relief immediately fills me as the power of the Void rushes me, healing me and filling me with power. Usually, I resist the power surge, and I fight the overwhelming magic that it gives me, but not this time. I’ve missed my magic too damn much; I was hurt too badly for too fucking long, and so instead of fighting it and worrying about losing control when I step out, I embrace it fully.

Something unfurls within me, something I’m sure that I’ve never felt before. I’d question it, but I have a prison to escape.

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